social – The PolyBlog

Mental health bumps

November 10 2022

Often when we talk about things on social media, we can easily slip into the Chasm of Venting or the Rainbow of Unicorns…everything is terrible and people need to vent, often about other people, or everything is sanitized within an inch of its life so everyone is photo perfect. As is their life.

That’s not me, never has been, and never will be. I live in the grey zones. I yearn for nuance, granularity, the level 3 thinking that goes past the obvious, second guesses the reframe, and zeroes in on the inner squirrel wondering, “What holy hell led you to be thinking THAT way?”.

And then all of it gets set aside for something simple and enjoyable that gives you a mental health bump.

My son as a social animal

The first thing is for my son. He has some physical issues, and it mutually reinforces his introverted nature. So while he is liked by most people (kids or teachers), a couple of years ago we were really worried about his social connections. He was really pushing back against going to school, every day was becoming a fight, 2 months before the pandemic’s impact, and we were trying to figure out what was going on. He’s better than average, but underrates his performance. He assumes if he doesn’t get something in class, he is the only one struggling. His teachers confirmed no, he’s generally above the middle at least, and in some areas quite decent. Personally, I think he would do a lot better in English only, but that’s a separate set of issues. Anyway, we were chatting and he said that he didn’t do anything at recess. That day? No, pretty much any day. So what was he doing? Standing there by himself doing nothing. Frak. That’s not supposed to happen, either we should notice or he should tell us or a teacher should notice, right? This was grade 5. Nope, nada. Well, crap.

He did a year online, exacerbating some of the issues, unfortunately, back in school last year and this year. And he found his crew. He has a small group of five friends that eat lunch together every day, and a couple that he seems close to, at least as far as a parent can tell. But he’s not running around the neighborhood with other kids, he doesn’t have a friend who lives in the adjoining house or backyard as I did growing up. He does have friends, a few of them whom he games with regularly, but he’s harder core than they are, and their parents likely aren’t as device-friendly as I am. So for his birthday, we were grateful and reassured to see that not only did all his gaming friends come for a gaming night, all his lunch friends came for a mini-golf outing.

But he tends to be the social organizer for outings. Over the summer, he organized another outing (at our urging) for mini-golf. Some of them have siblings they play with or next-door neighbours, so most of them have other friends. And it’s easy to worry that as amazing as we might think Jacob is, maybe his friends think of him more as an afterthought.

It can worry me as a parent sometimes. With a bunch of other things to deal with and more to come in high school, he has to deal with being disconnected. He has friends, but does he REALLY have friends? They came for his birthday, but was that just a group dynamic? He’s not the “social glue” that everyone gravitates to, he’s not the king of his crew or anything.

And then earlier this week, we were dropping him off at the school. One of his closest friends that he has talked about a lot was there, but a bit ahead of us at the drop-off, so he had already started walking away. We saw him, but he could have easily ignored Jacob and kept walking, it wouldn’t have seemed particularly rude or anything. But he didn’t. He’s a pretty good / nice kid from what we’ve seen, a bit quiet, but he not only waited for Jacob, he walked back to us to meet up with him.

That’s such a simple thing, right? To see a friend hang back so he could walk with him? And yet it struck me as huge. A friend who obviously WANTS to spend time with him, he’s not just a hanger-on to a larger group per se. It’s hard to measure that as a parent when most of their interactions are at school or online. There are some basic logistical issues to all of them getting together, some physical, some practical, and some more about where their parents live in different parts of the city and which parent they’re living with this week.

Jacob is doing better with his own anxiety, he’s more comfortable pushing me back on things (wait, is that a good thing? hehehe). And he’s looking into things like an IB program and an international certificate option for school. My son. The one who has never spent a night away from a family member as guardian. The one who has never gone to a corner store on his own and bought something. The one who we have managed to get him to order things in restaurants now on his own and to speak up for himself in non-school settings too. The introvert with anxiety issues who needs some capacity building and practice to be more independent.

We’re still waiting for surgery for him, and it limits his mobility. He can’t walk far without getting exhausted, definitely less than a kilometer if he’s carrying his backpack, although longer if he’s out walking with mom. But all of his accomplishments for knowing geography, math, history, and his sense of humour? It fails in comparison for me to see him have a true friend, one who could easily keep walking but was happy to see him and came back to join him. A friend who likes him as much as he does in return.

Poor modeling behaviour

And yet, I would say he has had poor modeling behaviour around him over the last few years. Sure, Andrea has her health issues, and it has meant that we are way more cautious about pandemic isolation issues than most. I have drastically curtailed most of my external outings in person, we do a lot of takeout, although now that we’re all multiple-boostered, and Andrea’s immune system is rebounding, we’re doing meals out with some cautions around the time of day, the busy-ness of a place, etc.

But in terms of friends? I can count the number of outings in the last two years with friends on one hand. An outing with Vivian, an outing with Aliza, two outings with Paul and Mary Ellen, and one with Sanden for lunch. I might be missing some in there, but I don’t think so. That’s it. I just haven’t felt comfortable doing it.

Today, I delivered on a lost bet and bought lunch for my friend and coworker Roula. We had bet on whether a possible work-related announcement was going to be included in the Minister of Finance’s Fall Economic Statement and I bet it would be. One FES later, I owed Roula lunch.

I had been wanting to try Bowman’s on Carling for several years now, someone told me they had pretty good food, including their wings. I’m always game to try different pub foods, and when Roula and I were talking about places, I mentioned wanting to try there. She has been a couple of times in recent months, with really good results, so she was game to go again and break me in.

It was awesome. Well, to be clear, the food and the company were awesome. The place itself is a bit more reminiscent of a broken-down honky-tonk where you would expect to see a lot of day drinkers at the bar (there weren’t) as it has a bit of a tired feel. Worn tables, basic menus, etc. A working pub/bar, if you will. The menu was decent enough for pub options — good appetizers, wings, sandwiches, multiple nachos, burgers, a few other things. I often rate a place by how many things on the menu I would actually order, not just things that sound good but that I would actually consider on a given day in the right mood. For me? Just about all of them. I wouldn’t take them all, not literally, as there are some on there I like better than others and don’t get often enough, but I’m definitely going back.

The wings were awesome. For me, part of the challenge with wings is to try some with no sauce. Lots of places can come up with fantastic glazes out of a bottle, but the wing itself is often nothing special. All of their wings are fresh, no frozen ones there. Larger-size, I worked through 2 full pounds of wings. No fries or anything, just straight awesome wings. I had some honey garlic on the side, so I could try it, very nice. Overall? The best wings I have had at any restaurant in probably close to 10 years.

But I also just really liked hanging out with Roula in person. We’ve known each other for a fair while now, not sure exactly, maybe 8-9 years or more, and we’ve worked together for most of that, so we see each other fairly regularly. But not in person for lunch. We were there for almost 2 hours. Some other people were supposed to join us, and while I would have liked to see them, as a “cool blue” introvert, I am more energized by one-on-one outings like this than I ever am in a group.

I came back bouncing. Just a huge energy bump. I have a few more outings in the coming weeks with other people, although I’m not ready for full-on socializing. But it sure felt good…

Work has been really tiring of late for learning the new job, and I’ll talk more about that this weekend. But for now? All good.

My yellow goals for 2016

February 18 2016

Yellow is the social and creative category, and I confess this one is a challenge for me right now. I really need to build my blue energy back up, and the only way to do that is through analytical work (for the most part). Yellow is the opposite energy, the draining energy, and it certainly is for social activities.

I’m going to throw myself a small pity party for a moment; although I am not actually seeking the pity, the wording is hard to nuance away from it. I am a strong introvert, that is and always will be true. And yet everyone needs friends. Or at least that is the popular psychology model, and I have little room to doubt it. However, I suspect that introverted analytical-types need it a lot less than extroverted intuitive-types. But here’s the thing, and I could put it here or put it in green for “emotions, etc.”.

I’ve kind of become isolated over the last year or so. It isn’t that I don’t have friends, but they’re not the “doing things together” type .One of the few things I do with “friends” as a group is arrange wing nights for the guys. I’m not super athletic, so I’m not going to ball tournaments, hockey outings, etc. And I hate parties generally – I don’t want to have nor see 1000 friends, just a handful. Honestly, for most of my friends, unless we create an occasion to see each other, we won’t. Our paths just don’t intersect that much outside of work. While I organized four or five wing nights last year, each one had a maximum of two other people show up, most only one, and one of them I cancelled as no one was interested. Some were spontaneous, others were planned weeks in advance, same result – nada for response. Or almost nada. It just doesn’t interest the other people, and I’m the only one organizing it. So I’m killing the wing nights.

Equally, I spent a lot of time on Facebook last year. Most of that was deliberate as part of my creative side, but some of it was compensating for the lack of in person contact, or at least I think some of it was that, probably. And same result. I feel more like I’m annoying people than connecting with them. I’ve known people in my life like that, used to be quite close with someone like that. Who tried but couldn’t seem to crack the social code to friendship. I think, in part, I was living under a small delusion of grandeur since my wife, Andrea, is a lot more social than I, and I think I was basking in the spillover glow. But it’s been clear for some time that I’m not resonating with people, pretty much on any level. And while that sounds like the pity party, it’s not.

The pity party is that it bothered me. It never used to. It goes with my personality. And at one time at least, I was perfectly happy going to movies by myself, restaurants by myself, etc. Maybe it’s the lack of alternatives, but I realized recently it had been bothering me, and I hated even more that it WAS bothering me. I used to be stronger than that. I need that spine back. Which isn’t to say I’m going to be a hermit or anything, or anti-social, but I am going to lower my expectations considerably. To relish what I get, to accept the value of what I do have, rather than wondering why not more. Or as the kids in Jacob’s old kindergarten class were told, “You get what you get and you don’t get upset”.

Category	TIER ONE (Basic Needs)	TIER TWO (Developmental Needs)	TIER THREE (Self-Fulfillment Needs)
Yellow (Expression, social, creativity)	Friendship Basic creativity	Openness Functional creativity	Spontaneity Applied creativity

Which then takes me back to the model. Friendship is going on the back burner, I’ve spent far too much energy on doing the wrong things in the last year with little return, and no great insights. One step up from that is openness, and that is part of what this blog is about. Not sure what to do with the spontaneity side, not sure it’s relevant if the upstream activities are not already met.

On the creativity side, I’m hoping my writing will allow me to build some yellow energy to fight against the drains on my blue energy. I think I’m somewhere between basic and functional, not sure if I have enough of a base to reach “applied” in the same manner.

In terms of activities, I had thought of a large social awareness campaign last year. I wanted it focused on prostate cancer, but the intellectual model was a bust early on. I was thinking of trying again this year, maybe something around “preemie awareness”, and I might do something small, but here is another giant kicker which I think puts me closer to Tier One than Three. I spent a LOT of time last year on FB and Twitter, building my blog, etc. I created memes, almost 200 of them. I tweeted over 1500 reviews of TV episodes. I brought the blog word count up to 400K worth of words. And what response did I get? None. Maybe 40-50 likes on Twitter, a handful of followers, maybe 20 likes in total for the year on Facebook. A smattering of comments. I tried questions, I tried provocation, I tried cute, I tried serious. Nothing. Which isn’t surprising…we’re basically talking social marketing, and a blue analyst with limited social skills is not the best person to be doing that. I thought maybe I was smart enough to get over the natural limitations of my personality and social preferences, but apparently not even close. So I’ve closed the book on all that hoopla.

Which means the only three things I’m doing this year are:

writing, including posting some of my attempts at fiction;
cooking, including perfecting a few targeted recipes; and,
making photobooks.

Again though, I need a slogan. Something that both keeps my expectations and activities in check, while leaving room for growth. Something like:

Focus your energy, be prolific.

2015 – Wrapping all the red goals together

January 10 2015

I have talked not at all so far about my red goals. And with strong reasoning. I’m embarrassed by them. Or rather, I’m embarrassed by some of them. Red is about a combination of physical and type-A driving forward, and generally speaking, it embodies the physical side of life plus my career. Let me start with career, because it is the easiest to talk about, and was part of the catalyst for the PolyWogg 4.0 commitment.

I started at Foreign Affairs back in ’93 — 22 years ago this month. I find it almost impossible to fathom. But that’s not the point. I spent 4 years doing various contracts and terms, and then started at CIDA as an indeterminate PM-1. Then PM-2 and PM-3 over the next couple of years. Then a switch to ES-04 in 2002, and ES-06 in 2005. In 2008, we reclassified the ES-06 positions into EC-07 but it’s the same level, just a different name. And I’ve had a chance to be a director on numerous occasions, with the most recent stint being just over a year ago. I’m good at what I do, I think strategically, I’ve got good experience, and I like managing. It seems like a no-brainer to move up. Except each time I approach an EX job, I balk a bit. I haven’t been sure it’s what I want. And this past fall, as I geared up for a competition that was the best chance I would likely ever have at making it into a pool, I realized I had almost no interest in doing the competition, no interest in getting the job, and no interest in learning to be a new EX over the next year. I had other goals, other life pieces that were calling to me, and it wasn’t about investing more time and energy in my career. There are some people who think my current level is the best in government, and some who think it’s one of the worst. You have managerial responsibilities, staff, some latitude and autonomy, but you are not part of the executive cadre, you don’t get performance pay, you don’t sit at the big table. Ultimately, putting all the navel gazing aside, it came down to a simple principle that I believe in beyond almost all others for careers. Life is too short not to be doing what you want to do, and becoming an EX was not what I wanted to do right now. I am not saying no to it forever, nor even yes to it eventually. Just answering the simple question, “No, I don’t want it right now.” So I withdrew from the competition. Don’t get me wrong, it wasn’t a slam dunk, I was going to make it. But it was the type of competition that is relatively tailor-made for the type of work I do.

But I’m not going for it, and it leaves me a little at odds to figure out “What’s next” for my career. I like what I do, and I don’t particularly want to change jobs, but it has been awhile that I’ve been doing the same type of work, if not the same job, and eventually I will have to figure out what I want to move on to, rather than what I am moving away from in my current tasks. In the meantime, I like my files, I like my branch, I like my staff and I like my boss. I like my job. Maybe not for another 15 years worth of liking it, but for now, I’m happy where I am. Which leaves the only thing I want to do in the next year is update my French profile. It is woefully out of date, and I really need to commit to fixing it. Which I hope to do, starting in March. It will be somewhat self-directed for awhile, but I need that to rebuild my foundations. My goal is a minimum of 30 minutes a day of french study, at least three times a week.

On the physical side, it divides first into “health”. I have an ongoing health problem that they can’t find a cause for, and it is a bit worrisome when it crops up. Without sounding overly scary, I have some mild numbing in my face at times. Not like a stroke, or paralysis, more like a bit of my face has fallen asleep. Usually accompanied by a sinus headache and sore eyes. We’ve done the big tests — heart tests, fMRI, Cat-Scan, etc., blood work out the wazoo, and nothing. No apparent cause. I have high blood pressure, mostly related to weight, and while it’s totally under control with medication, it’s possible that it could be related to the meds, but unlikely since it’s rather sporadic and infrequent. One possibility at present is that it could be sleep-related, so I’m doing a sleep test this month to see if I have apnea or only grinding. I’m going to keep plugging away at finding a cause, and I’m do for a physical this year. I’ve already eliminated allergies and asthma causes too.

Beyond that health, the only other things on my “health” side this year is to find a new dentist, possibly a more local doctor, and to make more regular visits to see massage therapists and chiropractor for neck and back.

Which leaves me with the last part of ongoing, that I’m going to skip over for now to talk more about the bucket list items. I have three that I want to tick off this year, and while the first is simple, the other two are scary enough that the fact that I’m talking about them first rather than the last of the ongoing, you know I really don’t want to talk about the ongoing stuff.

First off the bucket list will be my ongoing commitment to give blood. That may sound relatively simple, but it has been exceedingly complicated to set up. No, I’m serious. I wanted to do it once at work, and they basically said no because my Ontario Health card wasn’t registered or something. Then someone called to book Andrea in at Canadian Blood Services, and I spoke to them too, and we set up a special time near the holidays two years ago. Andrea and I trundled over to the building, all ready to go. Except the one staff member who was there was very confused because none of the doctors or nurses were actually there that day, and she couldn’t figure out how we were scheduled. Only to find out the scheduler had booked us for the previous year. No go. Next time we went to schedule it, I asked about whether I could give blood considering I was on blood pressure meds i.e. would they take the blood with those meds in my system. I knew they *could* take blood, because I’ve had lots of blood work done, but I didn’t know if they *would* take it because of the meds. Apparently no one knew. I was transferred twice, they said they would follow up, no one did. They did tell me however that I probably couldn’t just go to any blood drive, because the people wouldn’t know whether the meds would affect things since the “experts” at CBS didn’t know themselves. In the end, I’ve got other things to do than chase the experts to get this figured out so I can donate, if I can. This year, I’m going to ignore whose rabbit it is to chase, and I’ll pursue it once again. It doesn’t help that I don’t like needles. I had needles as a kid for allergies, once a week for a couple of years, and I really don’t enjoy them, the process, the smell, nothing. I do it when I need to, I’m not exactly “afraid” of it, it’s just really uncomfortable and I have to look the other way or risk passing out. I also get flushed, hot and physically nauseated. Why do I want to do it? Because I can. Because anyone can. And we all should. It’s the right thing to do, even if it’s a pain in the patootie to set up for me apparently.

Speaking of small phobias, I am not a big fan of heights. Yet somehow this year I’m going to find a way to go on a zipline and rappel down a wall. Not City Hall like that whackjob friend Daniel (!!!!), but something small and preferably non-lethal. I’m a big guy, I have reason to worry about rope strength. But I’ll do it. There’s an eco-park near Lake Erie that seems like a potential candidate, and another in New York State that I like too. Generally speaking, they are parks that have other things I like, with trips/treks that happen to include a small zipline and a small rappel wall, without it being an opportunity to do 140 kms an hour over an open pit.

The last bucket list item is also a bit unnerving. I don’t know if I can do it with high blood pressure, have to check on that first, but I want to do a polar plunge. A way to cap off the year, perhaps, and to launch next year. Stay tuned!

Okay, so I’ve talked about my bucket list, and most of my ongoing stuff. Let me look at my notes…nope, nothing else to delay my addressing my embarrassing area. So here goes.

I’m a couch potato. A big fat, slowly deteriorating, muscle atrophying lump of mashed potatoes. I can wax and wane eloquently about the psychological issues that tie into the laziness, but even I am sick of looking at them. I know what they are, I know most of them are scripts, and that I regularly have squirrels running around my head about them. No offense to animal lovers, but I’m going to drown some of those squirrels this year. Commit to the quest! Death to squirrels!

So, what does that mean? A series of small goals that I’m not going to rationalize, I’m just going to commmit:

Push-ups – I’m committing to 5000 push-ups. Not a lot for a whole year, but it’s 5000 more than I did last year;
Lunges – I’ll be doing the low-impact versions as I’m worried about my knee joints for the long-term, and while it isn’t an impressive number, 2000 is more than I did last year;
Sit-ups / crunches – Another 2000;
Back yoga extensions – Another 5000 commitment; and,
Back upright row – Another 2000 commitment.

Those together constitute one very large “red commitment” I’m grouping as just “exercises”. I’m hoping the Seinfeld method will keep me on track, but I’m also fully expecting that this will be the hardest for me to complete. I’ve already broken my chain on this one this week.

I’m also committing to a second action commitment, one that I have no idea yet how to operationalize effectively. I need something relatively low-impact, like walking, and I want it quantifiable. I’m limiting myself to a small commitment, just 100km for the year, but again, it’s 100km more than I did last year.

As I said, I’m embarrassed that I have to commit to them to do them, and I’m equally embarrassed the commitment has to be so small. But I guess I have to start somewhere. Commit to the quest, and let the quest commit to me.

Which brings me to the end of my goals. I’ve talked about big commitments, bucket list items, and my ongoing stuff. That only leaves two things — figuring out an effective way to track and monitor progress, and to actually do the work.

Onward, my quest awaits!

2015 – Wrapping all the yellow goals together

January 9 2015

The big screaming goal for the year, after I committed to the quest to become PolyWogg 4.0, was a yellow goal — to write 500,000 words before the end of the year. It’s big, it’s scary. I’ve also recommitted to my spiritual journey of 12 questions to ask myself this year. You would think that might be enough all by themselves, but no, this is the super year where I push myself to my limits, and beyond. Let’s put the yellow pieces together.

YELLOW PRIORITIES (Social, spiritual, creative)

My top two goals are my writing goal and my spiritual goal. But I’m also going to take three things off my bucket list this year too. The first one is “easy” in the sense that it’s already included in the writing goal — I’m going to finish my HR guide. By March 31st. My second bucket list goal of being creative is actually tied to my engagement with Jacob. I mentioned that we’ll do special projects each month, and one of the months will be to design a game. The game will combine some of the aspects of Life, Settlers of Catan, PayDay, Snakes and Ladders, and maybe BusyTown. All games that Jacob likes and plays. I feel like it will be a good way to solidify some of Jacob’s board game skills, laying the foundation for later games like full-mode Settlers etc. because he’ll already have the basic concepts to relate to when he learns the new game. He’s already doing a good job on card games and puzzle games. And, I’m also going to do a movie extravaganza weekend. Also known as a “BingeWatchWeekend”, my goal is to take a Monday off to recover because I’m going to watch movies from Friday night at 6:00 to Sunday night at 10:00. To be clear, I don’t mean no sleep, but basically that every waking hour I’ll be watching movies. I’m leaning towards a series or two (like LotR or Harry Potter) plus a couple of other action movies too. I suspect deep movies are best consumed as single entities and not in a binge, so I’m game. Just have to pick a weekend when Andrea will take the cub to Peterborough!

The day-to-day stuff is not without its challenges too. While it will tie into some of the above, my ongoing commitments are, by themselves, smaller in nature and spread across 7 headings:

Writing – I’ll finish my HR guide and I’m hoping to write an outline for a future book;
Blogging – I’m going to blog like crazy this year. I have a bunch of one-off topics / events / experiences that I’m keeping track of for future entries, but I also want to do some research and curation on the new topics I mentioned earlier (pop culture and news; law; business models of publishing; marketing of books; libraries and performance; and charities). My goal is at least fifty new blog entries this year in these areas. However, I also do reviews for books, movies, TV and music. For those, I’m going to do 24 book reviews, 500 reviews of TV episodes (tweets), 24 movie reviews, and 3 new reviews of Billboard year-end results.
Memes – I confess that I really like memes. I like designing them, I like seeing good ones, I like reading them. I have ideas for some related to music, quotes, questions, humour, work, careers, TV, movies, etc.). So much so that I’m committed to 200 new memes this year.
Reading – I am going to be plenty busy this year. I know that. But I also need to unplug from my side of the production equation and read what others have done. My goal is 25 books by the end of the year. Which books? Good question. I’m going to start with an easy one — Tolstoy’s Crime and Punishment. 🙂 Other books in the year will include: Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird; Gabriel Garcia Marques, 100 Years of Solitude; J.D. Salinger, The Catcher in the Rye; E.B. White, Charlotte’s Web; John Buchan, The 39 Steps + Greenmantle + Mr. Standfast + The Three Hostages + Island of Sheep; Bulfinch’s Mythology + Grimm Fairy Tales + Don’t Know Much About Mythology; the new Agatha Christie novel, The Monogram Murders; and Turn Left at Orion (an astronomy book). I’ve read some of them before, and I’ll still have room for 10 more. Those are likely to be a bit lighter fare — Star Trek, Dick Francis, Sue Grafton, Lawrence Sanders, Lawrence Block, John D. MacDonald. Mysteries for the most part. And hopefully a surprise or two.
Spiritualism – I’ve already blogged about my goal to ask myself 12 big questions and answer them from my own perspective. I’ve also started my gratitude journal, and I’m hoping to do 260 posts for the year. Onward and outward!
Photography – As mentioned already, I’m hoping to do a bit on photography this year, and listed it under my bucket list items for Blue. Because it is both about learning as well as about being creative. And so it’s really just reinforcing it here — a course of some sort, and some quick reference photography cards. I’m planning to start in March, but after that I want to do at least one thing photography related every week. Even if it is just process some old images and play with them a bit.
Recipes – I mentioned under “blue” for organization and “green” for family that I want to do better planning when it comes to recipes and cooking. Some of that is simply meal planning, but some of it is ensuring we continue to try new recipes and not just repeat the same old ones. In terms of new recipes, I have a few in mind, but they are not completely specific. I want to perfect a nacho recipe, and we’ve made good progress so far in terms of which cheeses to use, which toppings, etc. There are some limitations in that Jacob doesn’t like certain things but we do half Jacob / half adult nachos, and it seems to be working out. I also really like the Epicure steamer, and because I hate browning meat, I want to find five ground beef recipes that are quick and easy to do with the Epicure steamer. On top of that, I want to do some baking. My father learned baking from his father and grandfather, and while I didn’t do that, I would like to perfect five recipes — peanut butter cookies; chocolate chip and/or oatmeal cookies; a simple bread; dinner buns/rolls; and cinnamon buns. I didn’t experience it for as long as my siblings did, but my Dad used to bake buns sometimes on Saturday morning and you’d come downstairs to a household full of warm buns with butter that would melt in your mouth (the buns and the butter). Heaven. It may take me some time to get there, but I want it. After that, my plans get a little more basic. I want 12 new crockpot recipes, with at least 4 of them Asian. And I want to finalize/adapt the GroundNut Stew recipe I got about 8 years ago, make Tiramisu a la Izabella, perfect options for making quick and easy crepes, and after six years of sitting in a cupboard, use my dang ice cream maker. Let’s see, that makes 27 new recipes for the year. Time to get cooking hehehe

That’s it, that’s all for the yellow…On to the red!

Goals 2011 — Social

March 2 2011

I’m over the difficult “hump” of goal-setting, as the last four categories are much easier to plan than the first four. This one is a fun category in many ways — “expressing myself” through socializing with friends, cultural outings, and enjoying music, books and movies. Of course, I’ll find ways to make some of it look like “work”, partly cuz I’m inherently a blue, but even bluish yellow activities are fun for me!

As with previous categories, there is some momentum here. I’ve had past success with organizing my music (I’m interested in the Billboard lists dating back to 1945), movies (Oscar winners and box office favorites), outings for movies with friends (including the Mid-Month Movie Madness for Men), finding time to go for evening coffees with my friend Amanda, various party events although they tend to be more kid-friendly these days, catching up with Seb at lunch or Mike at a hockey game, going to the theatre with Andrea, or organizing birthday parties or a bachelor party. All of which is surprising given that I’m primarily a “blue” — which means yellow energy neither comes easy to me nor is it normally a spontaneous choice for me. Usually, group activities are my last choice, just ahead of root canal surgery with a rusty spoon. But, like any good blue, I’ve managed to figure out the roles/activities that work for me, usually with somewhat controlled environments or specific roles (host, formal guest, etc.). The lack of structure in social activities is usually what turns me off, not the opportunity to socialize with friends. And small predictable groups are usually preferable to large chaotic ones.

For the immediate future, though, my social time with friends is frequently limited by McGurgle — not all the activities are kid-friendly, and of those that are, we still have to schedule / adjust to fit. Sometimes it fits, sometimes it doesn’t. We can’t do everything, and as a blue, I don’t want to do everything either — it isn’t “re-energizing” for a blue, it is usually draining. It doesn’t mean you don’t EVER do it, it just means you recognize it and match your attempted output to your energy levels (i.e. don’t go to a large chaotic party if you’re already feeling drained).

I want to continue the MMMMM outings for movies, although I’m not really interested in 3D movies, and far too many of the ones I’d choose of late have been 3D. Maybe the balance will shift again. In terms of formal socializing, we used to host Remembrance Day parties, and I’d like to do one again this year, although I don’t know of what size yet. Or maybe a corn roast earlier in the year. For informal socializing, I’m hoping to be able to still go for coffee outings with Amanda, brunches occasionally, and a hockey game with Seb and Mike. Plus regular outings with other friends, format to be determined! (Shhh, don’t tell anyone, but sometimes a “blue” can manage to be spontaneous!).

For books and movies, I’m using the website to post my movie and book reviews, and I’d like 50 of each up by the end of the year. More importantly, I need to get a better handle on my ebook collection, and start pruning my paper books. I’m also determined to finish organizing at least 20 years worth of pop billboard music by the end of the year.

I also have a pretty decent set of items for the Bucket List for this category — 18 items — although some of them could have gone under the learning category. And, because I need the extra “yellow” to balance out the other colours, I’m thinking I’ll keep four of them on my goal list for this year:

Learn to knit;
Play Pai Gow poker in a casino;
Have a movie extravaganza weekend (i.e. a whole weekend of watching movies!); and,
Develop a list of top books (draft # = 600) to read.

The last one is partially done, I just need to get organized on it to finalize and link to my Kindle reading! On with the social category!