When I first wrote this post, I published it here on ThePolyBlog as the obvious place where I shared anything about goals, experiences, writing, publishing. Except in recent weeks and days, I’ve refashioned PolyWogg as having more “writing” focus and thus moved most of my Bouchercon experiences over there.

For other Bouchercon posts, I moved the conference part over to PolyWogg and kept the personal side here. Similarly, for this post, if you want to read about my Professional Development or Professional and Personal Engagement, you can find it at: https://polywogg.ca/was-attending-bouchercon2025-a-success-for-me/. What is left is more about my “personal” travel experience as a testing ground for my retirement.

Personal autonomy

This last category is hard to label. Part of me thinks it is not about the conference at all, while another part says, well, its NOT NOT about the conference.

I am set to retire in 102 weeks or so. Just under 2 years. And the vast majority of my social engagement right now comes from work. At the end of the day, I am both tired and socially lazy. I am not good at maintaining friendships and I do not have an active social calendar outside of my son and wife. I’ve had lots going on in recent years, and it has hurt. Even the weak skills I had have atrophied.

So, I’m worried a bit about my retirement. Some of the things that I want to do are mostly things I’ll do “alone”. I want to write, I want to do more astronomy, I want to kayak. Yes, I can do some of those with others, but it’s not my style, and if I don’t push myself, I might have to change my name from PolyWogg to some form of hermit crab. Here I was, throwing myself into the deep end of a large group, and if socializing and making connections is the equivalent of swimming, I didn’t even tread water well enough to avoid drowning. Not a strong start.

I have also not travelled alone in a long time, yet I am considering a significant tour of North America. How will that work?

I know how I want it to work. I would like, for example, to travel, say for a day or two, get to a new location, set up for camping in the van or trailer, and then spend at least a day exploring the area. Maybe that means looking up a kayak group in the area, seeing if they are having any meetups, and emailing to say, “Hey, just in town for a day, looking to kayak for 1-2 hours, experience level x, anyone going out Tuesday morning or afternoon and willing to show me a river / lake / pond etc.?”.

Or I look at Winnipeg, see that they have the RASC (astronomy) Winnipeg Centre, tell them, “Hey, going to be in town for three days, Tu/We/Th next week. Any events / viewings going on? Any one have a place to suggest for visual viewing of blah blah blah type of objects?”.

Or I look at Edmonton, see that they have a local theatre company putting on a play that I like, and go to see it. With or without finding a theatre companion for the evening.

In short, I’m afraid that my tour degrades from an exploration of landscape, people, and even cultures (however superficial) to become just me driving too much, lonely AF, missing Andrea and Jacob as well, and cutting it short because I’m doing nothing, talking to nobody, etc. Andrea’s uncle and aunt used to travel a lot, and were into squaredancing. So when they went to a new area, they frequently found local squaredancing locations and met fellow dancers to chat with, maybe share a meal, etc.

Now, I know in part that I’m catastrophizing the experience. If I’m in a bunch of campgrounds, it’s quite common for them to have group BBQs going on or a band. And a large campfire. Do I want to do something with other people EVERY NIGHT? No, of course not. That’s not me. I’ll likely do a lot of writing. I also like the idea of having a regular routine, albeit with some jumping-off points to keep things fresh.

I’ve mentioned, for example, that we have a friend who I would put in the professional tourist category. She travels a lot and she has this thing that they try to do three things by lunch every day. So that they aren’t wasting days, they do something “big”.

Extrapolating from that, albeit at a smaller pace, I kind of like the idea of three different styles of days…Day One would be mainly a driving day. Not crazy distances, maybe 5 hours worth over the course of the day. Up, breakfasted, stowed and on the road by say 9:30. Drive until lunch or so, with at least one planned stop to look around and take pictures. Lunch could be either in the van (self-made) or at a diner; dinner would be the reverse. On a driving day, one of those meals would likely be at a restaurant where I eat in, even if I only chat with the server. No grabbing fast food and eating by myself. Human contact of some kind. The afternoon would be similar to the morning, with a few hours of driving and at least one photo stop. And I would also choose my sleeping location at least an hour before dark. Boondocking, campground, whatever. If it’s a pure driving day, it has to end at a planned time. Our trip in August to BC had a lot of day ones. And if I’m the only one in the vehicle, aka no navigator or someone to talk to, AND I’m not planning to sleep in a hotel at night, I cannot string dozens of day ones together without putting my life at risk that I’ll be tired and bored while driving.

Day Two would be the opposite end of the spectrum. It would be a down day where I don’t plan on travelling anywhere. Sure, I might have to drive to a place to do astronomy or put a kayak in the water, but I’m not trying to advance the journey, I’m making sure I stop and see what’s around. We had a couple of days in Kelowna and then again in Vancouver during our BC trip, with relatively set experiences planned in advance. Kelowna was nice, but we didn’t do enough, in retrospect. We all felt that if we had just gone home from Kelowna after 10 days in BC, we probably would have been content. Of course, Jacob liked the peak-to-peak gondola at Whistler/Blackcomb as the best experience of the trip, and we hadn’t done that yet. So there’s that.

By desire AND as a test, I explicitly gave myself an extra day and a half in New Orleans to play tourist with Day 2 style structures. No conference session to attend, nobody to meet for lunch or dinner, just me on my own, deciding what I would do. Before I left, I had these things on my “possible” list:

• Wander around the French Quarter;
• Go to Jackson Square and see the church;
• Have a po’boy shrimp sandwich;
• Eat beignets at Café du Monde;
• Visit the Aquarium and take pics of penguins;
• Go to the French Market;
• Eat BBQ shrimp;
• Go on a cruise on the river on a paddlewheel/steamboat;
• Go out to the Bayou on an airboat;
• Visit the WWII Memorial;
• Do a ghost walk;
• Do a cemetery tour;
• Visit Bourbon Street;
• Wander along Canal Street;
• Visit the revolving restaurant;
• Listen to live jazz;
• Listen to live blues;

I have spent way too many travel experiences for work where I was alone and did almost nothing touristy. I went to my meetings, I went to my hotel, I ate, I slept, I flew back. I became a hermit crab. F*** that action. How the h – e – double hockey sticks can I even think about a four-month driving trip if I don’t actually DO anything besides drive? That is NOT the life I want. I want to kayak, see shows, and eat local foods. I want to experience regions, not just see the blacktops of roads.

I arrived on Monday at noon, and I didn’t really know what I wanted to do first. I needed food, and I went wandering. I headed into the French quarter, had an amazing milkshake, people-watched, went to Jackson Square, saw live music performances, ate a po-boy shrimp sandwich with more people-watching, ate Beignets, and headed back to the hotel while dragging too many snacks and drinks for the hotel room (I didn’t know there were markets closer to the hotel, sigh). I did four of my list on the first day, and got Vivian’s seal of approval as a good tourist since I didn’t even get there until noon! It was a great day, and I have to admit, I was really proud of myself that I didn’t just turtle. I didn’t feel alone, or that I was pushing myself outside my comfort zone. I just walked and had fun. I even talked to a family at Café du Monde, sitting at the table next to me. Socializing badge unlocked! (Just kidding. Mostly). I considered going on a dinner cruise, but I was a bit tired from the afternoon, and the heat was kicking my ass.

For Tuesday, I was thinking about a morning airboat ride, the Aquarium, and then either a cemetery tour, a dinner cruise, or the ghost walk. I only accomplished the Aquarium but I maxed my visit there. I even had a long conversation with the young guy running the penguin show and a future serial killer / lover of bugs in the Insectarium.

After that, I did eat lunch one day at the Creole House but had a simple breakfast option (the only interesting thing was Creole potatoes, which were breakfast potatoes with a bit of spice). Other than that, the only real exploration aspect was wandering on Canal Street.

I can claim that part of it was the heat, that was true. It was over 30 every day, humidity was 80+%, and it was very uncomfortable even at night. I didn’t really meet anyone at the conference to go out wandering with, and I’m a bit jealous of Lee Goldberg’s posts — he ate out every day all over New Orleans, it seems, with his wife, and even though he’s been there before, it was a clear exploration. I would have liked to go to Bourbon Street to see it on a Friday or Saturday night, or even the French Market, but the general advice was don’t go to either alone. I tend to ignore that advice, most of the time, but I didn’t feel very alert already, not a good combo.

As a test of my future willingness / ability to play tourist by myself, I feel I did great on Monday, okay on Tuesday, and nothing the rest of the week. I realized that it’s not a completely fair “test” though. Some of the things I wanted to do are not next to the hotel, so to speak, it takes effort to get to them and I didn’t have a vehicle nor the energy in the heatwave (the week after I left, it was down to 24 every day!). By contrast, if I want to drive around and go kayaking, in a van, I’d also have to stow everything for transport, go to the kayak location, get everything out and in the kayak, do the actual kayak thing, and then reverse the unloading process while also ensuring everything is dried off. Not as simple as walking to an Aquarium and buying a ticket to wander around an air-conditioned exhibit.

I also didn’t worry about money on the trip. It cost what it cost. Even with paying too much for a lot of food in the area, with no easy options to keep the price down, like cooking for myself or carrying a cooler for the day…while we were away, we ended up buying a foldable cooler from Canadian Tire that we used the rest of the trip which saved my butt a few times to have something cold to drink after hiking or whatever. We generally drank our water bottles full of cold water and ice, at least one other drink in the a.m., something new / bought with lunch, and another 1-2 drinks from the cooler during the day. I didn’t even have a decent water bottle for the trip to NOLA.

However, as an aside, I did manage to travel way lighter than I have ever travelled anywhere in my life. Four undershirts, four polo shirts, three pairs of pants, two pairs of sporty shorts, two t-shirts, toiletries, my laptop, two notebooks, knee braces, underwear, socks, etc. I ended up with one more shirt than I needed (I bought two), and one of the pairs of pants wasn’t needed either. But it all fit relatively well in a carry-on, plus my CPAP machine, and my simple shoulder bag/purse. If I do the van thing, I will not have a lot of room for accoutrements.

Overall, I think that means my results were decent — I surprised myself how well I did on the Monday afternoon. I didn’t even recognize myself. Maybe because I was so excited to be in the Big Easy. I try to be forgiving on my day two (literally and figuratively) because I did do the Aquarium, a huge item on my list for the city. And as I said, I maxed that visit. I saw everything there was to see and then some.

And then there are Day Three options for my big planned trip. These would be short hops. Sometimes they would be driving plus an activity, or an activity and then driving, but would not be two long driving hauls.

I feel like my personal goal would be that a Day 1 would be driving x 2 plus stops for pictures (lookouts), a Day 2 would be two activities for the day, and a Day 3 would be one driving plus one activity. I suppose there would also be “write-off” days where I’m either sick of living in a van and staying at a hotel or it’s pouring rain and I’m just sitting reading/writing/doing laundry.

NOLA did worry me about two things in particular. The first wasn’t really a proper test but I spent too much eating out, even if I didn’t have an alternative in NOLA. The second was my homesickness. I video chatted almost every day (I missed one night as my phone was dead) and although free, I wouldn’t want Andrea nor I to feel like we had to chat every night while I was on the road. Maybe texting some nights to let her know I’m still alive, but I’ve read some other people’s experiences and chatting every night or whatever can make it seem like it’s a holding pattern — this is what we do until we’re both in the same city again.

By contrast, I was surprised how important my laptop became. I wasn’t officially planning to take it, it was on my wish list if there was room. But it saved my week…I would have been absolutely a TV-watching couch potato or miserable AF if I couldn’t have written my blog each night on the day’s experience. I plan to blog while travelling, mainly to prevent myself from vegging out each night before bed.

What was the question again?

I asked myself if Bouchercon 2025 and the trip to New Orleans were a success for me.

• Professional Development — an easy yes;
• Personal and professional engagement — mostly a no, BUT I did learn that it isn’t a complete crapfest for my other abilities in this area; and,
• Personal autonomy — the first day was an easy yes, the second day was still good, but the rest of the week was not so much.

If I am truly honest with myself, I will say that it didn’t go as well as I hoped on the professional front but still better than I expected. And to be honest, pretty much the same for the personal side, even if I couldn’t sustain it for seven days straight.

So, if I were worried that I would implode and the trip would suck, I guess it was a success. And I got to road-test some of my retirement plans.