The PolyBlog – Page 40 – My view from the lilypads

↓

JAVASCRIPT IS DISABLED. Please enable JavaScript on your browser to best view this site.

JotD: Getting older (PWH00015)

May 16 2025

Three old ladies were sitting around talking. One said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and can’t remember whether I need to put it away or start making a sandwich.” The second lady chimed in, “Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can’t remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down.” The third one responded, “Well, I’m glad I don’t have that problem, knock on wood,” as she rapped her knuckles on the table. Then she told them, “That must be the door, I’ll get it!”

QotD: Friendship (PWQ00040)

May 16 2025

“Friendship, like love, is destroyed by long absence, though it may be increased by short intermissions.” ~ Samuel Johnson

JotD: Surprises (PWH00010)

May 15 2025

One evening, as Uncle John and his wife are entertaining guests with cocktails, they are interrupted by an out-of-breath Freddie who shouts out, “Uncle John! Come quick! The bull is screwing the cow!” Uncle John, highly embarrassed, takes young Freddie aside and explains that a certain decorum is required. “You should have said, ‘The bull is surprising the cow’ — not some filth you picked up in the City.” A few days later, Freddie comes in again as his uncle and aunt are entertaining. “Uncle John! The bull is surprising the cows!” The adults share a knowing grin. Uncle John says, “Thank you, Freddie, but surely you meant to say the cow, not cows. A bull cannot ‘surprise’ more than one cow at a time, you know…” “Yes, he can!” replies his obstinate nephew, “He’s screwing the horse!”

QotD: Before you can write (PWQ00012)

May 15 2025

“Before you can write anything, you have to notice something.” ~ John Irving

JotD: You might be an astronomer if… (PWH00030)

May 14 2025

You might be an astronomer if… 1. The weather is affected by your purchases; 2. You get upset when someone confuses astronomy and astrology; 3. You spend more time choosing a telescope than a spouse; 4. You think cities should issue hunting licenses for streetlights; 5. Your observing equipment costs more than your car; 6. You rewrote “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” to make it factually correct; 7. When people say, “it’s all politics,” you think they’re talking about Pluto being demoted; 8. You pack more equipment than clothes for a two-week vacation; 9. You are jealous of places with regular blackouts; 10. Your daughter Pleiades can’t walk, but she’s already seen Orion’s belt; 11. You and your lover drive to a dark, secluded place to see meteors…and you do; 12. You know that the size of your equipment really does matter; 13. You wonder how the clouds know when you get your imager in focus; 14. You consider Venus to be a significant source of light pollution; 15. You go to Hawaii just for Mauna Kea; 16. There are no tools in your car, but you always have a red flashlight, binoculars, and bug spray; 17. You consider Canon vs. Nikon debates to be fighting words; 18. You bought a vehicle based on the size of your scope and number of accessories; 19. You no longer enjoy full moons; 20. You spend $20K on a scope even though you only get 40 clear nights a year; 21. Someone says “Uranus”, and rather than giggle, you correct their pronunciation; 22. When people ask you “What’s up?”, you start identifying visible constellations; 23. You know an Iridium flare isn’t a medical condition nor found at a traffic accident; 24. You see night scenes in movies and calculate the time of year and latitude; 25. You can say “So that’s an 8 inch, want to see my 12 inch?” without blushing;

↑