I love private investigator stories, pretty much in any form. Give me a PI, lawyer, military investigator, mentalist, profiler, detective, mystery writer, psychic, whatever you want, if they’re investigating crime, I’m willing to give it a go. So ABC has a new PI show called Stumptown, takes place in Portland, and focuses on an ex military intelligence type who might be able to help people who don’t want to go to the police. It’s well-trod ground, all the way from the Busted Flush to the A-Team. If you have a problem. If nobody else can help. And if you can find her, maybe you can hire…Cobie Smulders?

Yeah, that was my reaction too. I liked Smulders on How I Met Your Mother. And I mostly hate her whenever she’s in the Marvel universe. Nor did I consider it a positive when she showed up on Andromeda. So…PI show on the one hand, Smulders on the other. Sigh. Let’s give it a go. Maybe I’ll be surprised.

And I was. She didn’t suck. Hardly high praise, but she was watchable. She plays it relatively straight, no fake comedic bits, albeit a bit cynically wry at times. Sure, she’s got PTSD of some sort, and her ability to fake that or pull off a sex scene isn’t great. But the PI side? Decent enough to watch.

But every PI needs a cop foil, and hers are two-fold — first up is Michael Ealy as the good cop and love interest / sex partner. I enjoyed him in Almost Human, skipped Common Law, and liked him in Flashforward. Here he is good, although his character is a bit uneven for Ep1. His boss, Camryn Manheim, basically scowls at people the whole time, which she has done lots of times before. Way back at the start of The Practice, she was decent, but I lost interest in the series and she was part of the reason. Not a plus for me, but she has a limited role here and it’s fine.

The rest of the cast is okay. Her friend Grey seems too good to be true — best friend? Something more? Curious if they’ll later reveal he’s either gay or has had a crush on her for years. Played by Jake Johnson, a little too earnest at times. Her brother Ansel is played by Cole Sibus, and is a maturing influence on Smulders character as she has to take care of him (unexplained condition, likely Down Syndrome or equivalent, and I like that they don’t explain it). And some people from the local reserve, Tantoo Cardinal (as the casino owner) and Gregory Zaragoza (as her right hand). Cardinal is decent, although mostly she just has to seem old and wise, with a bit of disdain for others.

Overall, I liked the show. Because of Smulders, I originally predicted cancellation. Unfortunately for me, I’ll be watching anyway but I think cancellation was the right call. I just don’t see enough meat in the show to get to renewal.

There are a lot of profiler shows that have come and gone. Some work, some don’t. They often try for a twist. A woman who grew up not knowing who her father was who suddenly is confronted with the FBI’s most wanted man saying he’ll only speak to her. An agent who investigated a series of murders until it consumed them and now they’re back. A victim who became a counsellor or an agent or an actual profiler. 

Or, in this case, the son of a serial killer who became an FBI profiler and was fired for breaching protocol. I wasn’t convinced it would work, so I predicted cancellation.

Tom Payne plays the titular son, Malcolm. I didn’t see him in The Walking Dead so he’s a fresh face for me. Decent, a little unsteady in his performance, but interesting character and watchable as an actor.

His boss is played by Lou Diamond Phillips and I think he does a great job.  I confess I’m hit or miss with LDP. I found him weak on Blue Bloods, so-so on Blindspot, watchable on Stargate: Universe, painful on Numb3rs, and okay for Young Guns. It’s not like his breakout in La Bamba. But he was okay here. Plays it straight, no curves, and it seems to fit better. Other coworkers include Aurora Perrineau, Keiko Agena, and Frank Harts. I didn’t get a fix on any of them, hard to tell.

His family consists of a sister, mother and of course the psycho father. The sister, Ainsley, is played by Halston Sage and I was struggling to place her at all. I just couldn’t figure out who she was, but she seemed so familiar. Of course, without all the alien makeup from Orville, she looks a bit different. Decent, but a bit weak of a character in the pilot.  Bellamy Young plays the mom, Jessica, and she has definite presence but not sure I care for the character much. Watching her, I also struggled to place her. Sure, I saw her in Dirty Sexy Money. But going back through her credits, I realized it was an episode of Cold Case where she played a housewife turned dance hall girl during the Depression and the subsequent War of the Worlds. She lit up the screen for that episode. Hope to see more of THAT here.

Finally, Hannibal Lecter, err, I mean Dr. Martin Whitly aka the serial killer father nicknamed The Surgeon is played by Michael Sheen. I haven’t watched Good Omens yet so hadn’t seen him there. I didn’t watch The Good Fight or Masters of Sex, so hadn’t seen him there either. Nor any of the other long list of roles. But for me, he is the weakest of the characters. There is almost zero menace or intrigue for his portrayal at all. More like milquetoast than Hannibal. He’s almost pathetic. Put differently, he shows no presence or gravitas to create a mythic figure for his son or his family.

Overall, I saw enough for me to keep watching. Unfortunately, I didn’t see enough to predict renewal.

Okay, so that show happened. Well. Umm, let’s start with the basics. The show is called Bigger, and the description is about a young woman who is wondering if there is more to life than what she has. A little vague, sure, so I went with predicting cancellation. 

The show revolves around Layne, a 30-something woman with a steady boyfriend, a vintage clothing store, and five old friends she hangs out with (3 girls, 2 guys).  The steady boyfriend, Greg, has just proposed and she’s unsure of her answer. She tells him she’ll get back to him. In the meantime, while Greg is out of town, she meets Reggie, a larger than Greg one night stand. In short, Greg is a Volvo, Reggie is a Porsche. The episodes are weird length — 30 minutes without commercials. Not a hour-long show nor sitcom length, and it is definitely not really a comedy. The closest it comes to is Sex in the City except set in Atlanta with black friends, and not all girls. And like Carrie Bradshaw, Layne does narration. Except rather than it being a voice over as if Carrie is writing a blog/column, Layne turns to the camera and talks directly while the action continues around her. The first time, I thought, “WTF? Are you serious?”. But you get used to it.

Tanisha Long plays Layne, and she has presence. She’s young, vibrant, articulate. A bit of an old Lisa Bonet vibe, in a sense, but more gravitas. I haven’t seen her in anything before, and in fact, I don’t recognize hardly any of the shows even.

It’s hard to get a handle on her friends…Angell Conwell plays her sexed-up friend, Veronica; Rasheda Crockett plays a quieter, smarter friend Tracey; Tristen J Winger plays a DJ wannebe named Vince who is one of the crew, but didn’t go to college with them; and Ezekial Ajeigbe is a bit jaded when it comes to business and women. They were okay, but like Friends, hard to know who they are until they get their first extended episode.

What I really found odd was the portrayal of Greg. He’s “sold” as a Volvo — safe, reliable, security. But he is beyond annoying. He insists on cleaning menus at restaurants, he will only go to one restaurant, he is OCD for setting the mood the same way every time he wants to have sex, and he’s boring in bed. How he hasn’t ended up at the curb is a mystery. Dry toast is one of the descriptions, and they could have added stale. Meanwhile, Reggie is shown as basically the stud — okay to look at, gets her juices flowing and well-endowed with a talented appendage. How did they NOT call him Mr. Big? Oh right, it is supposed to be a different show.

The episode wasn’t funny, and the “decision” wasn’t particularly new or challenging. And she makes the wrong choice in the end, one that just about every woman would say, “Hell no!” while watching. Every guy too. Anyway. I won’t be watching, but I wasn’t exactly the demographic for the show. I think it will get renewed, and I weep for the future of television. At least the lead is a fresh face.