St. Peter becomes aware of a man standing outside the Gates of Heaven, pacing up and down. “Excuse me, can I help you?” he asks.

“No, it’s alright. Won’t be long.” And he distractedly looks at his watch, shrugs and paces on.

St. Peter gives it another 5 minutes and asks again.

The man stops and says, “Look, you know I’m dead. I know I’m dead. Will someone please tell the cardiac arrest team?”