Upset man: Doctor, doctor! My wife’s in labour and she keeps screaming, “Shouldn’t, couldn’t, wouldn’t, can’t!”

Doctor: Don’t worry, she’s just having contractions.

Some students were attending a lecture about emotional disorders. “Just to establish some parameters,” said the professor, “what is the opposite of joy?”

“Sadness,” said a student from Arkansas.

“And the opposite of depression?” he asked.

“Elation,” said a student from Oklahoma.

“And you,” he said to the young man from Texas, “how about the opposite of woe?”

The Texan replied, “Sir, I believe that would be giddy-up.”

You call them swear words; my friends and family call them sentence enhancers.