I know, I know. You know that I’m nerdy, socially awkward, into fantasy, a bad dresser, and your immediate thought was, “How is it possible that Paul has never played D&D before?”.

Well, never fear! Your expectations have been met. A friend and I were talking at work about video games, fantasy stuff, MtG, and all things related, and I mentioned that I’ve never played D&D but was open to it. A few months later, he’s starting a quest, needs more cannon fodder, err, players, we canvassed some people, and lo and behold, we have a crew!

I had five people in mind to ask if they were interested. One was out of the D&D world these days, mostly into regular board games, but thanked me for the invite. Another apparently has a real life, who knew? Well, I did, but I asked anyway. Another declined because, well, he’s in TWO other games that have been running for more than 5 years. He’s covered.

And two more said yes. So we’ve got a core group of 4 plus our DM, and two others who are likely but busy at the moment. We all had to start our quest with character design.

What’s good for a newb?

We’re playing version 5 / 5th edition D&D; I didn’t even know there WERE editions. So, yeah, total newb. They asked what clan / class / character I wanted to be, and I had no idea. So I googled things like “Good characters for newbie”. Inherently, I don’t want to be necessarily “leading” a quest, I’m more like hero support. Which matched well with a bard aka the storyteller. Toss a coin to the witcher, and all that. It kind of resonated with me so entertainer / bard / dragonborn / silver etc. came together relatively easily.

I have a rapier, dagger, and four musical instruments to focus my bardic powers — a horn and a lute, and a lyre and a flute! The lute was automatic, the rest I had some choice, but no real guidance as to which would be better or worse. I got to choose some spells (Thunderwave!), but the book had strong guidance as to which were good combos for first-timers.

Devin (as DM) and Owen aka Timm the Cleric helped me hone my combos, and distribute my points across the six attributes. Vicious mockery sounds like a great weapon to wield constantly. And we calculated a bunch of #s that affect things, but I just went with the numbers they gave me and left the formula to some future consideration if needed.

Putting it to the test

The DM laid out a quick landscape with a bridge, and Timm (the Cleric) and Torinn (the silver dragon Bard) got to fight them. Timm attacked — and missed. I attacked and also missed. The goblins attacked Timm and did a bit of damage. Then they attacked me — and rolled a natural 20. Timm and the DM went, “Oh. Well. We don’t have to count that. This is just practice.” Apparently, a natural 20 against me is not good. They did something else, and I took an 8-point hit when I only had 9. Umm, that seemed bad.

Timm healed me on the next round, attacked and missed again. I gave him a Bardic Inspiration (extra die role for the next time) and did Thunderwave (magic spell) that pushed them back 10 feet and did massive damage but not enough to kill them, apparently. Another round, I did Thunderwave again, and they were dead.

Timm examined the bodies and learned some stuff about maps and types of poor armour / who made it, etc., and got some basic loot. I don’t really understand what any of that meant and whether it would be relevant in the future, but I got a basic feel for the game.

I don’t really understand how time works in the game. 10 rounds equals a minute, and you play for X amount of minutes before rest, etc. It felt like Hagrid’s explanation of currency to Harry Potter that there are 29 Knuts in a Sickle and 17 Sickles in a Galleon, i.e., 493 Knuts in a Galleon. Simple as pie, right?

Anyway, I’m more along for the ride; everyone else has played before, and we can “table talk” / “strategize” out loud, so it’s all good.

What if I die?

When I dropped to one point away from death, my game mortality suddenly seemed super-important. I wanted to know, what happens if I die? Is it just that I’m out? I don’t need to come back next week? Apparently, some games do work that way, particularly in older versions, but this team’s rules basically would have me “respawn” as a new character. Psst…it might be Torinn’s cousin Tarinn with all the same characteristics. Or I could do it randomly by rolling. Worth a consideration at some point, but in the short-term, dying isn’t fatal. Get it? Hehehe

So I killed my first two goblins, cast two spells, gave Bardic Inspiration to my quest team, and swung my rapier and missed. Or was it my dagger and I threw it? Something sharp and pointy that did nothing. I like Magic better, Magic can’t miss.

What’s next?

Three things happen next. First and foremost, we launch the quest together. Seems obvious. Secondly, I decide if I want to get my own dice (I’m leaning towards yes, just so it’s easy to read with my tired eyes). And third, I COULD get myself a silver dragon bard to be my physical character. Yes, I’m geeking out. Hey, I already bought decent large font playing card decks this week…does that have anything to do with D&D? Absolutely not, I just wanted some nice cards to practice some tricks with, but it is equally pretty geeky. A silver dragon ain’t too far off that scale.

Next week? The adventure begins.