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Tag Archives: cars

JotD: You might be an astronomer if… (PWH00030)

The PolyBlog
January 30 2020

You might be an astronomer if…

– You believe the weather is affected by your purchases;

– You get upset when someone confuses astronomy and astrology;

– You spend more time choosing a telescope than a spouse;

– You forget birthdays and anniversaries, but memorize dates of eclipses;

– You think cities should issue hunting licenses for streetlights;

– You prefer the names M27, Barnard 33 and NGC7293 to Rosette, Horsehead and Helix;

– Your observing equipment costs more than your car;

– You re-wrote “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” to make it factually correct;

– People say “it’s all politics” and you think they’re talking about Pluto being demoted;

– Friends don’t bother inviting you out when it’s a clear night ;

– You pack more equipment than clothes for a two-week vacation;

– You are jealous of places with regular blackouts or power failures;

– Your midlife crisis isn’t named Harley or Tiffani, it’s Takahashi;

– Your daughter Pleiades can’t walk, but she’s already seen Orion’s belt;

– Your and your lover drive to a dark, secluded place to see meteors…and you do;

– You know that size of your equipment really does matter;

– You think Galileo was a Super-Hero;

– You wonder how the clouds know when you get your imager in focus;

– You consider Venus to be a significant source of light pollution;

– You go to Hawaii just for Mauna Kea;

– All your flashlights have red filters;

– There are no tools in your car, but you always have a red flashlight, binoculars, and bug spray;

– You are embarrassed that you don’t know the Southern constellations;

– You consider Canon vs. Nikon debates to be fighting words;

– You have more scopes than mounts;

– You think car headlights should be banned near any open field;

– You bought a solar filter just so you could use your scope during the day;

– You bought a vehicle based on the size of your scope and number of accessories;

– You no longer enjoy full moons;

– You spend $20K on a scope even though you only get 40 clear nights a year;

– Someone says “Uranus”, and rather than giggle, you correct their pronunciation;

– When people ask if you have the right time, you say, “Yes, but I’m not sure of the declination”;

– When people ask you “What’s up?”, you start identifying visible constellations;

– You know an Iridium flare isn’t a medical condition nor found at a traffic accident;

– You know more about the weather on Jupiter than Earth;

– You see night scenes in movies and calculate the time of year and latitude;

– You can say “So that’s an 8 inch, want to see my 12 inch?” without blushing;

Posted in Humour | Tagged allergic, cars, engineers, humour, ice cream, JotD | Leave a reply

JotD: Car allergies (PWH00029)

The PolyBlog
January 29 2020

A complaint was received by the Pontiac Division of General Motors that a man’s car seemed to be allergic to vanilla ice cream. Every time he bought vanilla ice cream after dinner, his car wouldn’t start. Any other kind of ice cream and it worked just fine. The Pontiac President was understandably skeptical about the letter but sent an engineer to check it out anyway. The engineer was surprised to be greeted by a successful, obviously well-educated man in a fine neighbourhood. He had arranged to meet the man just after dinner time, so the two hopped into the car … Continue reading →

Posted in Humour | Tagged allergic, cars, engineers, humour, ice cream, JotD | Leave a reply

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