You might be an astronomer if…

– You believe the weather is affected by your purchases;

– You get upset when someone confuses astronomy and astrology;

– You spend more time choosing a telescope than a spouse;

– You forget birthdays and anniversaries, but memorize dates of eclipses;

– You think cities should issue hunting licenses for streetlights;

– You prefer the names M27, Barnard 33 and NGC7293 to Rosette, Horsehead and Helix;

– Your observing equipment costs more than your car;

– You re-wrote “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” to make it factually correct;

– People say “it’s all politics” and you think they’re talking about Pluto being demoted;

– Friends don’t bother inviting you out when it’s a clear night ;

– You pack more equipment than clothes for a two-week vacation;

– You are jealous of places with regular blackouts or power failures;

– Your midlife crisis isn’t named Harley or Tiffani, it’s Takahashi;

– Your daughter Pleiades can’t walk, but she’s already seen Orion’s belt;

– Your and your lover drive to a dark, secluded place to see meteors…and you do;

– You know that size of your equipment really does matter;

– You think Galileo was a Super-Hero;

– You wonder how the clouds know when you get your imager in focus;

– You consider Venus to be a significant source of light pollution;

– You go to Hawaii just for Mauna Kea;

– All your flashlights have red filters;

– There are no tools in your car, but you always have a red flashlight, binoculars, and bug spray;

– You are embarrassed that you don’t know the Southern constellations;

– You consider Canon vs. Nikon debates to be fighting words;

– You have more scopes than mounts;

– You think car headlights should be banned near any open field;

– You bought a solar filter just so you could use your scope during the day;

– You bought a vehicle based on the size of your scope and number of accessories;

– You no longer enjoy full moons;

– You spend $20K on a scope even though you only get 40 clear nights a year;

– Someone says “Uranus”, and rather than giggle, you correct their pronunciation;

– When people ask if you have the right time, you say, “Yes, but I’m not sure of the declination”;

– When people ask you “What’s up?”, you start identifying visible constellations;

– You know an Iridium flare isn’t a medical condition nor found at a traffic accident;

– You know more about the weather on Jupiter than Earth;

– You see night scenes in movies and calculate the time of year and latitude;

– You can say “So that’s an 8 inch, want to see my 12 inch?” without blushing;