That doesn’t seem like much of a choice, does it? I mean, how hard is it to blog? Or why is it significant?
For me, it was an actual choice today. Well, almost last night really. I was thinking, “It’s the weekend…and although I’ve started the “Today I Choose” self-challenge, did I want to perhaps adjust it so it was only a Monday-Friday thing?” Could I do the Seinfeld method of the longest chain if it was 5d on and 2d off?
So I debated whether I would blog today, Saturday. Things are a bit odd already with the “choice” challenge I gave myself. I spend the day doing my choices, I write up the posts at night of the choice I made that day, but then I write in the “present tense” even though I already chose. I’ve been playing with it in my mind, honestly, whether I should go back and change all of them to the past tense grammar to be “Today I chose”.
Except that isn’t quite the right nuance. I am not writing about a choice I *made* today, I am writing about the future-orientation of the choice, that today and everyday I am choosing to go beyond the minimum in some area of my life, actively and consciously choosing to do something that I want to do.
And I won’t lie, it’s hard to know what to write about each night. I could have written about making whole wheat bread today, or a trivia game we played tonight online as a family team (alas, we came 4th, but we’re blaming it on technical glitches). Or a few other choices.
But the one that felt like the biggest choice to me today was whether to blog about choice at all. I already blogged about an article I liked (https://polywogg.ca/articles-i-like-10-small-habits-that-have-a-huge-return-on-life/), so it’s not a question about blogging in general, I have no issues with doing that any day of the week and twice on Sunday. Literally, in some cases.
It was a question if I would keep the TIC series going or wait until Monday. I decided that I wasn’t satisfied with the idea that Monday to Friday I would work at making conscious choices and on Saturday and Sunday I would slack off, or turn my brain off, or whatever. It doesn’t count as keeping the chain going if I drop a couple of links on weekends.
So, today I choose to keep the chain going and to blog about my choices.
Whenever someone is doing some fund-raising, I’m usually fine to support their efforts. I don’t often care too much what the organization is, as long as the person doing the fund-raising isn’t a whackjob that makes me suspect the outcome, I’m happy that they are engaging with some organization and want to support it. I don’t necessarily support the organization, or even care about it, to be honest, I’m doing it to support my friend.
$20 here, $50 there, whatever. It’s a social decision. Recently, our local astronomy group was wondering about membership fees for a number of members who might be struggling with their finances right now, so an option was created to allow others to give a bit of money to help cover those fees, since most of them are not waivable but go to cover per unit costs for magazines, books, etc. So I slipped them a couple of bills to help out.
But as an introvert, I am a bit leery when it comes to personal commitments of time. I have been the star party coordinator for RASC Ottawa for the last two and a half years, although this year is basically a bust. I suspect it will be my last as I have other areas to devote my time and interest. This past week, I started to canvas RASC members looking for people with scopes like mine who need help getting going. A bunch of people stuck up their hands who need other help than I can provide, but I was fine to do the survey. For those with scopes like mine, I’m going to set up a socially distanced night where we can all go to a parking lot somewhere and set up all our scopes, to see what we are all doing right / wrong and get everyone going. Someone else can help those with other types of scopes. One woman wants help with her husband’s scope out in Merrickville, and I’ll do that as a one-on-two type training. Happy to help.
Why did I do it? Because I choose to engage. I could ignore it, I could ignore the need, but a few years ago, I was in the SAME situation and drowning. I finally had to wave my hands big and high to get the equivalence of a lifeguard’s attention to help me, and I want to both pay it back, and help them pay it forward by engaging them now to help others in the future.
I also run a small book club for friends and family. It’s not extensive, we don’t discuss all the books in detail, it’s really just a FB group with about 10 active members and another 10 followers. I choose some themes each month, there’s always a reader’s choice option, and I track everyone’s progress at the end of the month and award simple little badges for their efforts.
Why do I do it? Because I choose to engage. I don’t “have” to do it, and even over the last few months as I have been overwhelmed or busy, I have let some stuff slide. Not keeping up with tracking, not awarding the badges. Basically, just noting what the goals are for a month and that’s about it. Remembering to like people’s posts when they post an update of a book they read. Yet I like the club, I like seeing people who don’t know each other except through Andrea and I interacting and finding common books they like or have read. Or others to read in the future. It’s fun. Work goes with it, but it’s fun. So last night I went through and did all the updates for May and June to catch up.
I am a member of the AstroPontiac board, mainly because I want to support my friend Stephan’s dream of building an active astroparc in Luskville, and because I have some computer skills to offer to run the website. Could someone else do it? Sure. But it’s easy to include on my website and host an active site for nominal cost. It’s not the fanciest design, but it’s functional, it meets the need. In English AND French.
Why do I do it? Because I choose to engage. I choose to help my friend, I choose to help build an astro community.
And then something showed up in my inbox yesterday. One of the big huge astronomy sites on the internet for amateurs and hobbyists is called Cloudy Nights. In other words, if you can’t do astro tonight because it’s cloudy, you can go to this site (on Cloudy Nights). If the people on the site can’t help you, the info you are looking for probably isn’t available anywhere. There are tons of sub-forums for outreach, technical discussions, photography, classifieds, reviews, etc. It has a formal sponsor from an astro equipment sales company, but it is pretty commercial-free. It looks a lot like an old-time bulletin board forum. Very much a 1980s, DOS-style design to everything. Millions of posts on there. Literally, an astronomical site for discussion. And sometimes? The friendly voice in the dark who tells you what you missed when your gear doesn’t work the way you thought it should.
The inbox visitor was a message from one of the big admins to all the members noting they were looking for new moderators to help run the site. One of my FB groups is also looking, but the CN one intrigues me. Most of the site is pretty well-defined, people know what is where, and you don’t often see an admin playing a heavy hand except perhaps to move a discussion from one forum to another when someone goes too far off-topic with a question. So CN interests/intrigues me in ways that the FB chaos does not. I set it aside for a day, and then today, I looked at it again.
They want people who have been members for more than a year; check, I’ve been there for about 7-8, the same length of time as I have had my scope, and even a bit before when I was choosing a scope. They would like people who are involved in several forum sub-groups, which I am, including Celestron mainly, but also some astrophotography, some other gear elements, etc. Computer expertise doesn’t hurt, although it wasn’t explicitly required, and they have training. But the only kicker was they would like an active member who has over 500 posts. I have around 100 topics that I’ve started and about 300 posts in total. I’m a bit shy of their desired total, but it’s not a mathematical eligibility requirement.
So I said, “Sure, here’s my specs for consideration.” Don’t get me wrong, they didn’t single me out and say, “Hey PolyWogg, we’ve seen your posts and you’re amazing, how would you like to be saddled with a bunch of behind the scenes admin/grunt work?”. They’re just doing a cattle call to see if they can help spread the workload. And maybe they’ll take me, maybe they won’t. Maybe they’ll put me on a list for later.
Did I have to volunteer? Nope. So why did I?
Because today I choose to engage in a number of social communities and see if I can help.
I’m not saving the world, I’m just offering a helping hand. What choices are you making today?
As part of my new “choices challenge”, today I chose to make bread with Jacob. Bread-making holds a special place in my heart for memories of my dad.
My great-grandfather was a baker and he taught my grandfather to bake too. I never met either one of them, both of them having died long before I was even a glimmer in my dad’s eye, but my father learned to bake from them.
All through his later adult years, my father was an early riser. Even though he started work at eight, he would be awake as early as 4:00 a.m. some days, and although some days he might have grabbed a cat nap before going off to work, on weekends he would suddenly decide to bake up a storm.
At the time, it seemed totally spontaneous to me. I’d wake up on a Saturday morning to the smell of fresh baking. Yet now that I’m older and doing my own baking, I know how ridiculous that sounds. He must have had plans before that morning since he needed ingredients that we didn’t always have on hand, and not in the quantities he would have needed them. So it must have been planned. With a certainty akin to invading Normandy.
Before I was born, i.e., when he was younger, he would make pies regularly. However, by the time I was about ten, the list of products was pretty standard.
First and foremost were buns. Dinner rolls if you want to buy them in stores. Soft, moist, warm first thing in the morning. I’d end up eating 4-5 with my breakfast and I would have eaten more if I was allowed. They were awesome. Even now, a warm bun with some butter or margarine can take me back there. Even better if they’re still steaming when you cut them in half. Assuming you can wait to use a knife instead of just tearing into them. But we’re not talking a small batch. He would do at least 48, and more likely 72 rolls. Lots of kids, lots of buns got eaten.
Cinnamon buns were a specialty, and while I enjoyed them, it was always less so than the regular buns for me. Perhaps because they were big and heavy. At least two dozen of those.
And then it was time for the tarts. Pecan or butter, certainly, as those were his own favourites. Different kinds of berries, occasionally. Lemon for my mother. I never had the heart to admit I didn’t like most of them, except maybe the lemon ones. Oh, and apple. Whatever the combo, there would be at least 2 dozen of each type.
You would probably think this was a joint operation with the kids or my mother, but the baking was usually a Dad thing on those mornings. Clean-up, on the other hand, likely fell mostly to my mother.
As he got older, into his 50s and 60s, those baking mornings were few and far between, but I still remember them. And for a very long time, I have wanted to learn to bake. Although I’m not even sure that’s the right phrasing. It’s more like I want the capacity to bake, and to be able to do it without following a recipe. To feel comfortable baking. I’m blessed in that generally, when I follow a recipe closely, what turns out at the end is generally edible. I am not, however, fast at any of the steps.
So I have been a bit fearful as I considered my baking journey, that perhaps I would get overwhelmed and that I might not have early success, leading to a sense of failure. Almost like I’m somehow failing my father. Disappointing him, I suppose, or simply letting down his legacy.
A few years ago, Andrea planned a baking lesson for me with a guy from work who is known for his baking skills, he’s been interviewed on CBC, he does an annual big apple pie and bread outing for the United Way with many hands all going to his house to bake dozens of loaves in his multiple ovens as well as dozens of pies. Unfortunately, he seemed to stop running the lessons, and it kind of faded away.
And, for some strange reason, I am strongly attracted to making bread. I don’t know why. Maybe because my father never did. So if I screw it up, there’s no built-in comparison for me? Not entirely sure. But LONG AGO in a KITCHEN FAR FAR ACROSS THE CITY, Andrea had a bread machine and I always wanted to learn to use it, have some early success. So when Covid hit, and everyone fell into the “home baking” fetish, I thought, “Okay, why not get going again? You have some time.”
Until Andrea opened up the bread machine and we realized perhaps it hadn’t fully dried at some point when it got put away and under the bread pan, it was starting to corrode. Bye-bye dead bread machine. I thought, “No problem, I’ll find one online and we’ll order a new one.” (See https://polywogg.ca/my-experience-looking-for-a-bread-machine/)
I knew that lots of places early on had problems keeping yeast stocked, but that was usually fresh yeast, and I would be looking for bread machine yeast, and I knew people who knew people if I got stuck. What I *hadn’t* heard from ANYONE online was that bread machines were impossible to come by. Multiple vendors, multiple models — all out of stock.
However, based on all the reviews, it was clear that the grand-daddy was made by Zojirushi and called the Home Bakery Virtuoso Plus Breadmaker. Virtually EVERY review ranked it first by a country mile on everything except cost. And even then? They said it was worth it. But, as I said, nobody had it in stock.
I stalked everyone in Canada who normally sold them. And started to see suggestions that perhaps, maybe, just maybe, there would be some in stock at the start of July. So July 1st, I pulled up my browser, went to Amazon, and BAM! It was back in stock. I ordered immediately. And guess what? 5 days later it is out of stock again.
But it arrived Friday, Andrea did a quick clean of the interior items yesterday, I went to the Bulk Barn for ingredients this morning, and this afternoon? Andrea supervised Jacob and me while Jacob made the first loaf in the bread machine. He measured the ingredients, I assisted as his sous-chef (sous-baker?), and about 2:00, we turned it on. It was looking like dough should look about 60-90 minutes later, and after 3h15m of baking in total, the first loaf was done.
Jacob was playing chess online with his grandfather, and Andrea was chatting with her parents at the same time through Zoom, so I got to remove the pan, and shake the bread out onto the cutting board. We did a simple basic white loaf for the first loaf, and my first reaction was simply “wow”.
We set it for light crust this time, and it looked damn near perfect. None of the bread we have ever done previously in the old bread machine ever even came close to looking that perfect for size, shape and colour. I even showed it to the parental units through Zoom! It even came out super easy.
But the question, of course, is how did it taste? Andrea, Jacob and I sat down around 5:30 to have a slice, still warm, with butter. And while it may not be “buns”, it had the same taste (it IS simple white bread after all). Soft, moist, melt in your mouth. Watching Jacob have his first bite was worth any price, to be honest. It is the same look I remember on my family’s face when I was younger, and I assume on my own face both then and now.
Can I buy bread? Sure. Can I buy special baked bread, hand-made, perfect flour? Yep. Do I? Not usually, we generally just go with loaves in bags for sandwiches and toast. And usually whole wheat. I grew up on white bread, so there’s nostalgia there too, so I’m curious to see how I react to the whole wheat loaf we’ll do next.
But regardless of whether it is cheaper and simpler to buy it from a bakery, I’m not making bread, I’m giving myself basic baking competency to build momentum. I do want to make buns, and I will likely use the machine to get the dough started. Pizza. Buns. Bread. Maybe tarts. Lots of things. And while it may be cheating a little, I have some tools to do it by hand when I get a better feel for what it should look like at different stages. I do really like the idea of doing stuff by hand, with the machine getting us started with the right dough consistency.
And Jacob is interested in learning too. So we can do it together. Which is something I never did with my father (although, to be fair, he was always doing it early in the morning while I was still sleeping, and I *did* make pies and cookies with my mom a lot as a kid).
In the end, that’s the choice. I can buy it or I can make it; I can do it by myself or I can make it with others.
Today, and from this day forward, I choose to make bread with my son.
