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JotD: God’s Total Quality Management Questionnaire (PWH00006)

The PolyBlog

April 25 2025

Quality Management Questionnaire from God Quality Management Questionnaire from God 5. Are you currently using any other source of inspiration in addition to God? 1. How did you find out about God? __ Tarot __ Lottery __ Astrology __ Television __ Fortune cookies __ Advice columnist __ Psychic Network __ Dianetics __ Palmistry __ Porn __ Self-help books __ Rock and Roll __ Biorythms __ Tea Leaves __ ESP __ Mantras __ Evangelists __ Crystals __ BDSM __ Human Sacrifice __ Pyramids __ Burning bush __ Barney T.B.P.D. __ Barney Fife 2. Which model of God did you acquire? 6. Please rate on a scale of 1–5 God’s handling of the following (1=bad, 5=excellent). __ Father, Son & Holy Ghost __ Jehova(h) __ Yoweh __ Jesus __ Alah __ Satan __ God __ G_d __ False god Disasters: • Flood • Famine • Earthquake • War • Pestilence • Plague • Cable service • Cell phone • RTO • Stepping on Lego • Snow in April 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 Miracles: • Rescues • Remissions • Stars in East • Crying statues • Water into wine • Walking on water • Talking bush • Smart clocks • Sports win • Laughing babies • Robin Williams 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 3. What factors were relevant in your decision to acquire a god? __ Satisfy parents __ Society __ Imaginary friend __ Desperate need for certainty __ Like Organ Music __ Angry at parents __ Angry at society __ Needed focus in who to despise __ Talking shrub __ Wanted to meet girls/boys __ Need to feel Morally Superior __ Hate to think for myself __ Needed a reason to live __ Fear of murder by a missionary __ Needed a day away from work 4. Have you ever worshipped a God before? If so, which false god were you fooled by? 7. Do you have any additional comments or suggestions for improving the quality of God’s services? (Attach an additional sheet or prayers if necessary) __ Odin __ Zeus __ Cthulhu __ Apollo __ Ra __ Barney T.B.P.D. __ Almighty Dollar __ Liberalism __ Great Spirit __ The Sun __ The Moon __ Great Pumpkin

Related posts:

JotD: God’s Total Quality Management Questionnaire (PWH00006)
Time-management and paying yourself first…
Critique of Rethinking Canadian Aid: Chapter 10 – Management of Canadian Development Assistance
Drucker Forum — The Internet Is Finally Forcing Management to Care About People
JotD: Oy vey (PWH00008)

Posted in Humour Tagged humour, JotD, religion permalink

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