Let’s see. We started with J.A.G. And then spun off the current NCIS series that is still running with Mark Harmon. They added NCIS: LA and NCIS: New Orleans. Annnnnd now we have NCIS: Hawaii. I’m sure it was a toss-up between Hawaii and Florida. Magnum P.I., Hawaii Five-O, and now NCIS, I’m sure someone will want to suggest more cross-overs somewhere. Anyway, I digress.

When I did my initial prediction, I said:

NCIS: Hawaii premieres this week on CBS, another outing for the series that started way back with JAG a loooooong time ago. I generally like the premise of the different series, but I don’t watch all of them each week. One is enough for me. I’m happy to see what this one is like — a bit like Hawaii Five-O, I imagine, but I’m not sold on the main actress, Vanessa Lachey. The only thing besides the trailer that I’ve seen her in was a small part in the Fantastic Four, which isn’t making up for a terrible trailer. I’ll give it a maybe for watching, yet vote for likely renewal.

The series premiered, I watched EP01, and I’ll stick with my prediction for renewal. But I really don’t care about the characters.

Vanessa Hachey plays the leader, Jane Tennant. She’s supposed to be no-nonsense, I guess, and their “big scene” of her moment of importance was her kids soccer game being interrupted by a Navy helicopter arriving to pick her up on the soccer field. Completely and utterly ridiculous. This is Hawaii, not Kandahar. That’s not a slam against her acting, it’s a completely different slam. Add in two kids for angst, and well, I don’t care.

She has a young woman on her team, Lucy Tara, played by Yasmine Al-Bustami. Lucy is a “green” agent, not a Probie, but not that seasoned yet. The character is okay, but a bit all over the place playing at playing in a few scenes. Oh, and likely gay if that helps. I don’t know what her role in the series will be, just “young and eager”?

I suggested Lucy was gay because there is a confused scene with Tori Anderson’s character, Kate Whistler, where it’s a “will they / won’t they” romance thing, and nobody in the scene has any idea what they’re doing or where it’s going. Anderson is in two other scenes, and they’re both really annoying scenes. I confess I don’t remember Anderson from KillJoys exactly, but yes to Blindspot, where I thought she was decent. Here? It looked like panic-induced acting?

Alex Tarrant plays Kai, an ex-Marine who has returned home and knows all the locals, but has a complicated family life with father and sister. Kind of the Torres’ character from regular NCIS, but well, I didn’t care. I’ve seen Daniel Dae Kim and Grace Park do it better in Hawaii Five-O, S01.

Noah Mills plays the new Tim McGee i.e., most senior “second in command” for the team, aka Jesse Boone. You don’t get much from him in EP1, so it’s hard to rate. He’s fine, but nothing that stands out. He’s more personable than Lachey at least. I don’t remember him from The Falcon and the Winter Soldier, one of Karli’s followers, nor anything else. I’m willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.

But there are two bright spots. The first might be a small spot, hard to tell yet, but Enver Gjokaj plays a local military officer and likely someone that Tennant will deal with regularly (Captain Joe Milius). I really liked Gjokaj on Emergence before it was cancelled, but I had to rely on IMDB to remind me that he was Victor way back on Dollhouse. I hope he ends up being a regular character, maybe a stand-in for Director Vance or something, for the military chain of command.

And then there’s the resident tech, Ernie Malik, played by Jason Antoon. If you watch the other NCIS series, you’ll know that the many of the techs have ongoing recurring scenes. Some are soft roles that grow (NCIS: LA), others are big roles that run out of steam (NCIS’ Abby). Antoon steals every scene he is in. I thought I had seen him in other things, but checking his rap sheet reveals nothing I would remember him from. Maybe I’m just confusing him with a character look from way back on Babylon 5, but he’s awesome. Definitely a keeper.

Which leaves me with a cold team leader (but so is Gibbs, except he inspires loyalty and supports good people without questioning their abilities), an okay team lead, two weak junior members, a weak lawyer type whose role is undefined, and two other support characters who are good.

None of it screams “watch me”. EP1 dealt with people targeting naval personnel for potential corporate espionage, and the firewalls the military puts up to protect the program are silly. If they had evidence their crews were being targeted, the people in charge would have fallen all over themselves to support the investigation to prove it was false, not stonewalled for no reason. Bad writing. Don’t get me started on the fight between Kai and his sister. The only other bright spot I saw in any of it was the dialogue between the locals. Some of it seemed pretty legit, using phrases that Haoles (pronounced Howlies) wouldn’t know. I had trouble even following some of it, and that seems like a good thing.

As I said in my prediction, renewal is almost certain. Will I be watching? Maybe a future binge, but LA and New Orleans will be ahead of those, when regular NCIS ends. Which isn’t going to happen soon as someone backed a truckload of money up to Mark Harmon’s door and said, “Please continue” for S18.

I saw references to the TV show, The Crew, and I didn’t know much about it. But as with most new shows, I’m willing to give it a try for at least one episode.

The basic premise is that a NASCAR team has been doing poorly of late, and the owner announces that his daughter Catherine is going to take over running the team. Under the new management, she wants to makes some changes, including potentially firing some people, and she butts heads with the operations boss, Kevin. Most of the show takes place at the garage, and has a bit of a Wings feel to the setup, just not as funny.

The acting and writing

The main actor is Kevin James and I pretty much knew what my personal reaction to the show was going to be: meh. King of Queens, Mall Cop, Kevin Can Wait…He’s okay, but I’m not sold on the delivery. Some of it is a one-trick pony storyline i.e., “hey, I’m not the brightest guy but I’ll learn a lesson by the end of the EP”. It’s okay but it doesnt’ scream “laugh riot”. There are some funny lines, but nothing that leads to much more than a smile.

The daughter, Catherine, is played by Jillian Mueller, and I thought I recognized her at first. But after checking IMDb, nope. She’s okay but I don’t really get a feel for her in the EP. Yay, she’s smart. Yay, she’s into numbers. That’s it? Even by sitcom standards, that’s pretty lame.

For the supporting cast, there’s Jake (Freddie Stroma), who’s pretty dumb but a generally good driver, but not much to work with beyond a few throw-away lines like Woody or Coach from Cheers without the presence; Chuck (voice actor Gary Anthony Williams) as the mechanic, who has decent presence but not many lines; and Amir (Dan Ahdoot) as the engineer with a series of telegraphed jokes about being effeminate and into design. Nothing to write home about.

So who else is there? Well, let’s start with Bruce McGill. He is a regular guest actor on a ton of shows, often playing a bit of a schlub or a bit of a sleazeball, but he always nails it. He plays the owner, Bobby, and as always, he is pitch perfect. I liked him on Rizzoli & Isles, all the way back to the original MacGyver, in My Cousin Vinny, heck even Semi-Tough. But whenever I see him? All I can think of is Captain Braxton from Star Trek: Voyager, the time cop gone a bit nutty about Janeway’s involvement in timelines. He’s solid for the whole EP, and while there’s no guarantee he’ll be around much, he’s pretty good for backup.

The one that threw me the most though was Beth. She is pretty inconsistent. She seems almost like Carla from Cheers, a bit dumb, but smarter than Kevin, gets really invested in his personal life, has some sort of boyfriend or husband that could do double-dates if Kevin was dating someone, it’s a bit confused. I’m not even totally sure what she does for the team. But she has decent interactions with most of the other cast throughout the episode. And then, right at the end, small spoiler alert, she has this serious moment with Kevin that he is totally clueless about. She is basically telling him she’s into him, and he misses it entirely. But for just a moment, she goes serious, all the other attributes of the character disappear, and it’s a great scene. Her name is Sarah Stiles, and I looked her up on IMDb as well. Nothing I’ve seen her in, a moderate list of credits. I just hope they do something with the character.

For the writing? Well, it’s not funny. Which is kinda important for a sitcom. There’s a lot of one-liners, but most of them aren’t that good. More importantly, a lot of the characters seem inconsistent, which is really hard to do in 22 minutes of airtime. Most of them have only a few lines, yet even when they do, it’s hard to make it jive with the previous lines. Catherine is terrible, Kevin is one-trick, even Beth who is awesome in one scene is kind of all over the EP. Bobby is great, but the show isn’t about him. Sigh.

My prediction

I have to go with cancellation. The show is still stuck in its opening premiere “box”, I know, but there just didn’t seem to be enough funny there for me to care about any of the characters either.

The new show Debris debuted recently, with a strong alien/X-Files vibe to it. In a nutshell, the premise is that scientists spotted a damaged alien ship drifting through the solar system, surrounded by debris. Some of that debris has fallen to Earth, and almost all of it has strange energy readings with unpredictable impacts on the local population. For example, the first use you see of it is someone picking up a piece that lets them pass through solid matter, falling 14 floors to her death THROUGH the hotel building she’s in. Cool, huh? The two main characters are investigating the phenomenon, a joint task force of the US and the UK. He’s CIA, she’s MI6, and they’re not the only ones looking for these fragments.

So, is it X-Files 2021?

It’s hard to say based on a single EP if that will be the continued vibe, but the short answer is no. It is clear from the get-go that there are aliens and this is alien tech. There’s no “mystery” of the truth being out there. The debris is definitively alien.

However, there is a bit of an X-Files “what is this about” vibe. He’s more the Scully-type, traditional hunter, having formerly been in Afghanistan and not wanting to go to the private sector on returning home. For the debris, he wants to keep it out of enemy hands. She is the Mulder-type who believes in the power of all things, and that if they find the technology, they can improve the lives of all humanity.

The “he” in question is Bryan Beneventi, played by Jonathan Tucker. He is the co-anchor for the show, and that’s a problem. I liked him in Westworld, Justified, numerous guest shows, and all the way back to The Black Donnellys. And in almost every single show I’ve seen him in, he’s a snivelling weasel, pretty much. Spineless. Often with some drug stuff going on maybe. Untrustworthy to the core. THIS is the guy you want saving the planet? Oh, he’s got faults all over the place, but he isn’t a guy I root for, pretty much ever. If he was in a mobster show, he’s the one double-crossing the big guy or going rogue to prove himself, screwing either bit up, and getting whacked asking why everything always goes wrong for him. I like him in those other roles, but I had a lot of trouble seeing him in this one.

The “she” in question is Finola Jones, played by Riann Steele. I’ve seen her in a few things over the years, nothing that stands out as riveting. She’s decent in the premiere, but nothing particularly compelling. There’s some back history with her father having seen the debris field, he was an astrophysicist who apparently died. Spoiler alert — he’s apparently not dead.

For other supporting characters, there’s Bryan’s boss played by Norbert Leo Butz who isn’t sharing everything with Bryan. He’s been in a few things here and there over the years, nothing that stands out to me. Finola’s boss is played by Anjali Jay, but you don’t get a really good scene with her (she’s on the phone to Finola), so it was hard to place her. Thanks to IMDb, I now know I’ve seen her before on Continuum (she was good) and Supergirl (meh). Nothing compelling, and impossible to know if she’ll have much of a role in the show.

Good news though, we have a bad guy. I thought it was some sort of typo, I confess, as the actor’s name is Scroobius Pip. He’s apparently a quite well-known hip hop artist in the UK, but I have never heard of him. It explains his name, I guess, with the background. Anyway, he’s been in a few shows, nothing I have seen though, and in EP1, he has about 10 lines. His role is a bit intriguing as you find out he’s actually SAS and hunting the debris too, plus he has some sort of transporter tech they’re using (from the debris fragments). It has some bugs though, so kind of a last resort tech.

The premiere’s goal though is to grab you. To pull you into the mystery. And to be honest, it doesn’t. It’s interesting, sure. The case of the week is (spoiler alert, again!) a kid that has come back from the dead and a bunch of people are seemingly dying and floating across the ground in the same direction to the same spot. They’re not actually dead though. So the mystery is how is the kid alive, what’s the connection between the victims, how do they solve it. Well, considering the opening scene that raised the stakes took about 10 minutes (complete with Michael Eklund as a black market dealer of debris relics, and I was initially excited cuz I loved him as Bobo on Wynonna Earp, right up until he bites the dust at minute 9), they solve the rest in the remaining 32 minutes or so. Bippity boppity boo, all is right with the case, problem solved. Really? That would be like the Lost characters finding a resort to stay at on the Island rather than facing the Others.

So where does that leave me?

Basically nowhere. The writing wasn’t compelling, nor was the acting. The mystery of the week ended way too easily. And the larger mystery? There just wasn’t enough time spent on the fact that it was ALIENS for crying out loud. We have people DEFYING GRAVITY (no reference intended to the show) and people aren’t losing their sh**? Really? Okay, well if you’re not excited and getting worked up, why would I? I’m going with cancellation (which is also TV Grim Reaper’s prediction) and I won’t be watching.