I feel like from the time I woke up, to the time I’m writing this at night (9:33 pm.), I failed to make any good choices at all. There were choices in there, but I wasn’t conscious of most of them, and for the ones where I tried to make better choices, I feel like my internal scripts ran stronger than personal will.
The morning was relatively simple, since I had ordered groceries yesterday for pickup today. Nothing exceptional, basic stuff. Then I drove to a friend’s house who makes masks for friends and picked up new ones for Andrea, Jacob and myself. I had two, but had broken the strap on one, and the other is a bit small, plus Jacob had kid-sized ones that were too small. The new ones are both larger for the face (women’s sizes for both Andrea and Jacob, since they have virtually the same dimensions) and adjustable for the loop length. Neither activity is really an “active choice” type of blog entry though, more passive reception (for the groceries and the mask).
Then I headed out to Bell’s Corners to Dusty’s, a local fresh fruit and vegetable stand. I considered claiming that as a “choice” in that I’m going out of my way to support a local business, but it is not even really “new”. I did it last Sunday too, and while I did it today, I don’t feel that committed to it. I could easily go to any stand, it’s just a little more work to go to that one in order to support them. We’ve shopped there for a couple of years, so I’m happy to see them open again. I didn’t need much — some fresh strawberries, some blueberries, cherry tomatoes and a red pepper just because they seemed fresh and we might do nachos this week. As I said, I considered it for the blog, but I wasn’t really feeling it as an empowering choice. I have to buy the stuff somewhere, and it’s minor to buy it there. If they weren’t open, I’d buy it somewhere else.
For lunch, I used up some leftovers, nothing exciting there. I thought I might have something from the afternoon, as a week ago we went to Preston Street for gelato and I was thinking of it as a potential Sunday night tradition we could do in the summers. Except tonight, Andrea was booked for a call, so I was thinking this afternoon. Which meant Jacob had to come with us for the two deliveries and then we would go for the gelato.
And TBH, I think this is where I started to completely crash. Jacob has been lethargic for a bit now, doesn’t want to go outside, and just about everything we suggest, his response is basically “I guess”. Even when it is things that he chooses. Honestly/candidly? As understanding as I try to be of mental stuff, as lord knows I have my own motivational issues, it’s beginning to piss me off. Today, to get him to go out, since gelato isn’t his favorite, I gave him the choice of what we would have…Dairy Queen, gelato, Baskin Robbins, Chocolats Favoris. Something he could choose. He grudgingly went. We did the deliveries, he prefers soft serve ice cream most of the time so DQ wasn’t a surprise, and we started thinking about what we wanted. Jacob’s choice? A slushie. Really? We’re going to DQ just for him, so he can have the ice cream he wants, and he’s choosing a slushie? Sigh.
Whatever, moving on.
We get back home, Jacob miraculously feels better (who knows, maybe he was actually feeling off in the car because he does get car sick, and playing on his phone the whole time doesn’t help with that). So I need to do some electronic reconfiguration for his room, with a new power bar, charging station setups, etc. Nope, he wasn’t feeling it, he just wanted to crash.
Okay, why not? It’s Sunday, I crashed too. Recharge the batteries. Except I didn’t. I woke up with a splitting headache, everyone’s in a crappy mood, and despite the fact that I work really hard to never let my true temper show, I came pretty close to just letting fly at one point.
I shake it off, play Rovio’s new Angry Birds 2 (what was the earlier sequels called? Seasons?), distract myself. Go upstairs, Jacob is just lounging, doing nothing basically, and I wanted to do the charger setup. Nope, not interested right now. Let’s do it tomorrow. Don’t get me wrong, I gave him the choice, and probably 8:30 p.m. is not the best time to interest him in something new for the day, but I would have liked to make progress on SOMETHING today.
So I’m giving up for the day. I don’t know what the “choices” are that I have left to make today, but I am not optimistic that I’ll make any progress, so I am definitely resetting the clock on this Seinfeld chain. My record for consecutive blocking on choices stands at: 8 days.
I’ll take a 2 day hiatus for Monday and Tuesday to get my brain ready to go again, and restart on Wednesday. Let’s see if I have better luck for my next attempt.
What choices are you choosing to make today?