Okay, I described bundling trips, a series of one-off trips, and some possible cruises that interest me. Then, I went a bit off the grid with walkabout options for Canada and the West Coast, including how I could handle possible trip logistics. If that all worked out, I would have options for the Atlantic Provinces, the East Coast of the US and inward to the Mississippi all the way back up to Southern Ontario, and the mid-West.
A lot of trips in some sort of trailer in that second half of the month.
But Andrea and I are considering another option. To be honest, I’m not sure how it relates to the others.
We like to move it, move it
I jokingly called it move it, move it (thank you to the Madagascar movie) as it would involve temporarily moving to various provinces and potentially territories for an extended period of time.
So, for example, let’s say I look at the Newfoundland trip. Instead of driving all over, what if we drove to Labrador and just parked the trailer there for a week? We could do a series of day trips, have a home base, maybe even stay two weeks. Then perhaps we head to Newfoundland and park somewhere near Gros Morne for a week or so. Or two weeks in Deer Lake or two weeks in St. John’s. We could even just consider a month in Newfoundland and Labrador, with only short hops in between rather than the rolling tour I outlined earlier.
But what if we didn’t have the trailer? What if we just rented an apartment in St. John’s for a month? What would that look like? Treating it like we “moved” to the province for 4-8 weeks.
My dream would be to move province to province, spending a month here, six weeks there. We could spend a month in each capital and then a few weeks getting to the next one. The goal would be a leisurely visit to the capitals and regions where perhaps we do something every other day, as opposed to a friend’s itinerary of 3 things before lunch every day. Less touristy, and more “move into the city” to get more of a feel for it.
As I said, it could be with or without the trailer. I could see combinations that would have us spend:
4-6w in Newfoundland and Labrador;
4-6w in Nova Scotia and Cape Breton;
2w in PEI;
3w in New Brunswick;
3-4w in Quebec (near QC, Saguenay, Gaspésie);
4-6w in Southern and Northern Ontario;
3w in Manitoba;
3w in Saskatchewan;
4w in Alberta
5w in BC;
3-4w in YK;
3-4w in NWT; and,
2w in Nunavut.
So, adding it all up, drumroll please…ba da ba da ba da…44-53 weeks of living in other parts of Canada. So, yeah, about a year.
I was initially wondering, if we were also thinking of moving out of our own house, would we sell and put a bunch of stuff in storage and then travel for a year? We could rent apartments and short-term housing for a month here or there and spend a year in a suitcase. But Andrea would rather go do, say, 1 of them and then come back to Ottawa; maybe do another in the year and come back to Ottawa.
This takes me back, again, to the question of what form it might take. Are we doing AirBNB in different parts of Nova Scotia, for example? Or would it make sense to take a trailer down to NS and park it in different spots as a home base? With shorter duration, one side of the argument is that short-term accommodations are more affordable; however, you could also live in a trailer for a month here or there. Assuming, of course, that we get a trailer that is not marriage-ending too small or frustratingly too long for pulling.
I confess too that if I have the trailer, I love the idea of saying, “Hey, how about a month in (x)” where x is some location within relative 5 or 6d driving where either we could travel down together or I could drive it down and Andrea would fly to join me. Like Florida. Or the Grand Canyon (notwithstanding my fear of scorpions and snakes getting into the trailer). And then have a month around the location, with an SUV to get around and the trailer to sleep / cook / poop in.
In the end, I don’t know what we’ll do; we’ll have to wait and see what our interests and health are like at the time. Maybe we have a good trailer option, and we flock to it, or maybe we try it and say, “Meh.”
Either way, we’ll see more of North America one way or another or another or another.
In previous posts, I noted that there were a couple of detours that I didn’t take, and both sort of mid-west-ish…one in Canada, one in the US. So I want to see what it would look like if I did a separate trip to check out those locations.
Segment 1 would start in Wisconsin (50d). When I planned my route back from New Orleans, I pretty much went straight North to Chicago, Milwaukee, etc. I didn’t deviate much from that route. And there is a whole lot of midwest that I skipped over. I would probably start in Minneapolis. Then continue down through Des Moines, Omaha, Lincoln, and Kansas City. I would probably go to Witchita, just cuz I love the song from Cindy Church. Oklahoma City would be next on the list, and if I didn’t hit Dallas / Fort Worth earlier, I’d do them this time. I already did Albuquerque, but I’d probably do it again on the way to Denver. Then swing West, probably to Salt Lake City. I don’t know at that point if I would do Casper Wyoming or up into Yellowstone. It’s possible that before I went south to KC, I probably should have picked off part of North and South Dakota. But after SLC, I could mosey to Boise. So many options. I could try to finish off in Butte. Or some variation thereof. For the map, I went over to Montana and back to Iowa, but I could be flexible. It’s a whopping 98h, 10400km, so 25d just in driving at 400 km a day. I’m going to double that, which might be a bit high, but there are a lot of famous sights along that route, plus lots of places to do a bit of paddling and hiking.
Segment 2 would take me to Waterton Lakes / Glacial Lake National Park (16d). I have wanted to go to Waterton for a very long time to see the area. I tried multiple times while working to schedule a conference there, with no luck ever. Sigh. Coming from Columbia Falls, the best route is the Going-To-The-Sun Road that goes right through Glacial Lakes NP on the US side. The problem, of sorts, is that a) it is seasonal, you can only go in the summer, and b) you have to book it in advance. Except I’m not likely to know my route and timing well enough to get me there in time to book it. Unless I totally reverse my trip and go to the Park first. 🙂 At the moment, I would start in Columbia Falls, pass through Sprague Creek / Crystal Point / Siyeh Bend and end up at St. Mary on the other side of the US portion of the park. From there, the trip returns to normal limitations of time and desire, with a stop at Waterton Lake on the Canadian side. I plotted a route back through Lethbridge and Grasslands National Park, and then just a straight line back to Ottawa that takes me back through North Dakota and Minnesota.
Overall, the trip would be about 10d or so, but I would double that first part, 6d or so, making it 16d in total for 3800 km. The totals are all off though as it won’t let me officially take the right road at this time of year, so it keeps rerouting me the other way around. But I know the road has a bunch of other limitations including overall length of car and trailer combos (no longer than 21′, which might mean having to leave the trailer near one of the entrances and driving through or around to pick it up again later). I’d figure it out for the year I was going.
So that takes care of the “missed” mid-West. I could TRY to add it into my first “west of the Mississippi” grand trip, but these two segments are already large on their own:
Segment 1: 50d, 10400 km
Segment 2: 16d, 3600 km
Total: 66d, 14000 km
And with that done, it pretty much covers the entirety of Canada and the US except Nunavut, Hawaii and the Grand Canyon, all of which could be separate one-off trips at some point.
Do you have any place you want to go that I missed?
If I’ve already done a bunch of stuff West of the Mississippi, it only stands to reason that I want to do a trip to cover the area of the US that is East of the Mississippi. I plotted a route all the way down the coast, and back up to Ottawa. Here’s the way the segments work out.
Segment 1 takes me to the tip of Florida (32d). I’d start off slow, juking around in New York State. Over towards Lake Placid, back over to Syracuse, mostly covering the Western part of the state that I haven’t done before. I’m still skipping a bunch of stuff along Lake Erie, but I’ll get to it later. I’d swing by Cooperstown, over to Albany (with time to stop this time), then down past Woodstock, farther near West Point, and turning back West towards the steel mill world…Scranton, Allentown, etc. I’d pick up Trenton, NJ, and Philly, plus some of the coast before heading to Baltimore and Washington. I’d go back to the coast to pick up Richmond, Norfolk, and Kitty Hawk, and then zag back towards Charlotte, NC. I’d want to see Myrtle Beach, don’t really have a good concept of it. And then…it’s time to zag back over to Augusta, and then zip the other way to Savannah. After that, it’s straight down the coast…Jacksonville, Daytona Beach, slight detour to Orlando and Kissimmee, and straight on to morning in Boca Raton, Ft. Lauderdale, and Miami. It is 4800 km, so somewhere around 12-14d, but it would easily take me twice that long with all the stops. I’d put it closer to 32 days as a rough estimate. There’s just so much to see and do along there. Plus the fact that I’ll want to go kayaking with gators (j/k).
Segment 2 would take me into the heart of the south (25d). Before turning tail, I would want to consider driving to Key West. I have no idea what that entails, if there are tolls, do you need special passes, or you can just drive drive drive. I’d like to drop the trailer in Miami (or West of Miami actually) and then drive down and back. It’s a 6h round trip, only 530km, but that would be a VERY long day. I doubt there’s anywhere I could sleep in my trailer, nor can I likely afford a hotel anywhere in that run. But I can’t NOT do it, right?
After that, I go up the West side of Florida, over to Tallahassee, and right on into Mobile, Alabama. I will have been to New Orleans, so I don’t know if I need to go much farther than Mobile, although Biloxi might call to me. I’d likely then go up to Montgomery and Birmingham, before doubling back for Auburn, Columbus, Atlanta and Athens. For Tennessee, I’d likely head to Knoxville and Nashville before tackling Kentucky — Louisville and Lexington. For Ohio, I would probably want to do Cincinnati, Indianapolis and Columbus. It would have been another 48h of driving, or about 4700 km. Call it 12d, add in some rest to make it 15, and add in stops to make it 25d.
At this time, I would then have a decision to make for Michigan and PA/NY or PA/NY and then Michigan. 🙂
Segment 3 would be a bit wonky (20d) and doesn’t have to be done on this trip, it could be a whole separate “mini-trip” on its own. At 45h, and 4100 km, I would start in Columbus and do an entire loop around Michigan. Back in Ohio, I’d head over to Cleveland before an “oops” of my first segment. Given all the stuff over to the coast, I kind of miss Pittsburgh in the first batch. So, I’d pick it up now and then come back to the shore of Lake Erie, all the way to Buffalo before re-entering Canada, albeit briefly. I would work my way down to Windsor, across into Detroit, up to Sarnia on the American side, and then all the way up the coast of Lake Huron to Tobermory. Why? Cuz it’s Tobermory and Georgian Bay, of course.
I’d pick up Collingwood, Wasaga Beach, Barrie, Orillia, Gravenhurst (dark sky preserve), and eventually back to Ottawa. I suspect I’ll be a bit tired of everything and just want to head home once I get to Buffalo, so I don’t know if I’ll do all of Ontario. Let’s assume I do though, call it 10d of driving, and well, probably another 10d of stopping/resting. There are a LOT of places to go kayaking in that route.
Even though I’m pretty sure I messed up the route. I should probably go from Columbus to Buffalo, through Canada back to Detroit, then upper Michigan, and back into Canada. Huh. I just plotted that route, and while I would likely ditch a bit, the full reroute only saves about 50km. If I drop Toledo and South Bend, it would shave about 500km. Interesting. Not quite “Holy Toledo, Batman”, but well, I couldn’t resist the punny reference. Sigh. I’ll show myself out.
Okay, let’s see now:
Segment 1 — 4800 km, 32d
Segment 2 — 4700 km, 25d
Segment 3 — 4100 km, 20d
Grand total — 13,600 km, 72d
And yet, even with all of that, I haven’t completed all of the US or Canada. I would still have some stuff in the Southern Prairies of Canada and the Northern mid-west of the US. Plus bits and pieces dotted here and there. Like the Grand Canyon as a destination or a big state like the US or the amazing beach we saw in our New England trip or a big city like NYC.
This trip option turned out longer than I thought, even without the last 20d. I thought that 30-40d was more likely, but as I looked at the sheer number of “famous” cities that draw my attention, not to mention hundreds of parks that I didn’t even mention, it’s easy to see any of them taking longer.
Andrea and I have already travelled through the Atlantic provinces on three previous trips. The first big trip started in NY state, through Vermont and New Hampshire, and into Maine before going up into New Brunswick, all around Nova Scotia including Cape Breton, back to PEI, and over to New Brunswick and home. The second was Quebec City and the Saguenay, before hopping over and doing Gaspésie including Percy, and then all the way back home. Our third trip was to Newfoundland, and we started around Deer Lake, visited Gros Morne, and then worked our way all the way over to St. John’s before flying home.
And I confess, I would like to do parts of that trip again for things we didn’t have quite enough time to do, small diversions we didn’t have time for, and larger sections we just plain couldn’t do at the time. All of it. I’d even like to do it with the same trailer that I hope to use for the big 25K loop. Perhaps I could do it as a test for that trip. So, what would this “repeat / redux” trip look like?
Segment 1 would take me up to Labrador (16d). I’d do the Saguenay region again; cross over into Northern New Brunswick, slowly working my way towards Percé. and around Gaspésie; then up through Labrador City, and around all the way down to Labrador coast where I can cut over to Newfoundland. The new parts that I haven’t seen before would be central New Brunswick, Northern Quebec, and all of Labrador. Overall? It would take about 52 hours, for ~4200 km. If I stick to the previous range, call it about 400 km a day, that would be 10-11 days, plus another 5 days in there for stopping at various places for more than a day/night. Since I’ve seen it before, I think my real desire would be the chance to do a bit of kayaking along the way for some of the rivers, small lakes, etc. No real sea stuff though, that doesn’t interest me. At least, not in a kayak! I’d be open to some small boat cruises to see the coastline.
For Segment 2, it would basically be Newfoundland (26d). The tricky part is that I don’t know how much I want to repeat previous trips, and it is a LONG haul across the entire island. I did a complete workup to cover all of Newfoundland, which is insane. I’m not really going to do that, not in practice. The so-called plan would cover all of the upper peninsula above where the ferry from Labrador docks; take me all the way down through Gros Morne (there’s a fjord I would want to see this time); a couple of little jaunts up by Baie Verte, back over to Twillingate, and if I could, I’d spend a night on Fogo Island. I have no idea how transport works for there, where I’d leave my car, etc. I’d pass through Gander, head over to Bona Visa, a few more peninsulas, and then into St. John’s.
Then I’d hit the southern peninsulas. With a full trip out to where I could hop over to St. Pierre and Miquelon. Again, no clue what’s involved to do that, but I would want to make sure that made my list this time. A few more excursions off the main highway into the core of the island would be mostly about getting into the harder-to-reach parts of nature and hopefully kayaking a few quiet lakes and rivers. And then, heading back all the way to the south western tip, Port aux Basques to get me to the ferry off the island.
While I wouldn’t do all of that, I wanted to see what the maximum plan could look like over 57 hours and 4800 km. Almost 15d, just in Newfoundland, not including what I did in Labrador. Add in about another 10 days I think to allow for rests, trips to outer islands, kayaking, etc. for a total of up to 25 days. I’d also have to see if it would make more sense to go from Argentia in the end, rather than doubling back to Port aux Basques to depart. Although that sailing would be 15 hours to Sydney, rather than 8. Not that it matters, either way, it’s basically a day. Overall, the new parts would be the stuff north of Gros Morne, some kayaking, and Fogo Island plus St. Pierre and Miquelon. If it wasn’t for St. Pierre and Miquelon, I might be tempted to just go down the west coast of Newfoundland and take the ferry to Sydney, skipping almost the rest of the island that I’ve already done a fair portion of, on a previous trip.
Segment 3 would basically take care of Nova Scotia (10d). I’d start in Cape Breton, do the Cabot Trail loop, and then go all the way down to the southern tip of Nova Scotia passing through Halifax and then back up again until I cross into NB and make my way towards PEI. A simple 21 hours and 1700 km. There are a few places I’d like to go kayaking, maybe see a friend or two, maybe even climb a mountain. Plus spend some actual time in Halifax when I’m not sick. It looks initially like a mere 5 days, but call it 10 days in total with fun stops. I could decide to skip a bunch of Cape Breton, and even most of Nova Scotia, only going down to Halifax and then over towards Acadia University and up to PEI.
Segment 4 would finish off PEI and the rest of New Brunswick (9d). It’s only 14h and 1200 km, so not the biggest haul by any stretch of the imagination. Three days of driving would complete the loop through PEI, and then cover off Moncton, St. John and Fredricton, but I suspect I’d want at least 1 day in each of those three plus Charlottetown. We didn’t spend enough time in PEI previously. So 3d of driving plus 4d of sightseeing, and perhaps 2 more days of rest to do nature stuff, call it 9 days in total. I didn’t see many of those previously, more like drivebys, so it would be nice to spend some time.
Now, I have to confess, even if I was to do all of this “again”, with the new pieces, one segment still remains — I still have to get home (6d). Andrea, Jacob and I just did New England a year ago, and oddly enough, where I finish off in New Brunswick is right near two of my favourite parts of the trip — Baxter National Park and Acadia National Park in Maine. There were a few things I didn’t get to do there, partly for time and partly for configuration, so maybe I could go back for some of it. It would still take me 13h to get home, plus the 1100 km, and I’d add likely 2d in Baxter and at least 1 full day in Acadia, so let’s call it 6d to get home.
Would I really want to do this long trip too?
There are two variables at play here. One, yes, I would love to travel in a trailer through all these areas and see them from that perspective. Two, I’ve seen some of it before. Would I still find it worthwhile? My thought, in part, is that the other things I would do like camping, boondocking and kayaking would be worth it. And most importantly, is it really the same trip as before if a) I’m by myself and b) I’m also not pressed for time? Oddly enough, Andrea might be interested in the Ottawa to Deer Lake portion of Quebec, Labrador, Gros Morne, and Newfoundland, so I might have someone with me for the most isolated portions.
Segment 1 – Labrador, 16d and 4200 km;
Segment 2 – Newfoundland, 26d and 4800 km;
Segment 3 – Nova Scotia, 10d and 1700 km;
Segment 4 – PEI and New Brunswick, 9d and 1200 km;
Segment 5 – Maine and the trip home, 6d and 1100 km.
Grand total: 67 days and 13,000 km.
Now, here’s the interesting part for me. Since most of the destinations are ones I’ve been to before, I have some familiarity and comfort with the area; most of it is in Canada, but I would still get some challenges in Labrador and Newfoundland when I’m not within cell service. I’ll need a Garmin if I’m kayaking or even looking for better than average navigation assistance. Maybe even a satellite phone, although that seems overkill except for certain segments. So, what if I started with this trip instead of the other one and let myself ease into the big trip? At 67 days, I could see that easily dropping to 45 days, for instance, with a lot of detours in Newfoundland and even Cape Breton not exactly being “required.”
Or, what if I rented a trailer for this trip? Or what if I only went to Labrador and back? I don’t NEED to do all of this one, but I would be willing to do it again, as it’s a nice way to give everything a shakedown trip OR to cap off the previous one with a shorter-duration haul.
What about you? Have you ever done a repeated trip with more time and less schedule to guide you? Was it worth the “return”? Or did you feel that other destinations were a higher priority?
I mentioned in my previous post that my dream is to drive from Ottawa to Anchorage, Anchorage to San Diego, and home again. With lots of detours on the way. I don’t know if any one read it, not many comments or views, but whatever, I blog into the abyss, at least for now.
Obviously, with a 124-day trip and 25K kilometres (or about 15.5K miles if you’re bent that way), I can’t afford to stay in hotels every night. Even if I could get the average cost down to $100-150 / night (Cdn), and some locations would make that a challenge these days, that would still cost me $12-18K before I even left the house. Plus, I would likely have to eat out for all meals, find bathrooms, etc. Plus, the headache of packing/unpacking everywhere. No thanks.
Plus, if I’m making reservations everywhere, I would need more formality/scheduling in my tour, allowing for little flexibility/independence in my choices of what to do or where to go. I do not want it to be a Canadian version of the movie and book, “If today is Tuesday, this must be Belgium.”
My choices are limited by bathroom options
I do want to drive, but when I get down to the nitty-gritty of a long road trip, I have no desire to write a review of all the great public places to poop across North America. In fact, it is my bowels that worry me the most about a long trip. While I don’t have IBS, I do have a system that is often distressed and inconsistent in operations. For some people, that’s no big deal. Hikers poop in the woods; backpackers find parks, trails, or truck stops. Maybe they find a downed tree to sit on with their butt out behind. Maybe they’re good squatters. And whether they are hiking or camping or whatever, there are a lot of people who can poop anywhere. They even take little shovels with them, dig a hole, poop and cover it up. Some do it IN PUBLIC CAMPGROUNDS, which is just, well, gross.
At no point in my life have I ever been a backwoods traveller. No way, no how. And that has not changed. I love the theoretical idea of a hike, doing the Appalachian or Pacific trails; I am somewhat envious of those who can do it, get back to nature, all that jazz. To find themselves, perhaps on a mountain top, with no one around for miles. But I know my limits. I am not a “hike, sleep on the ground, pack in my food, etc.” kind of guy. I don’t have the body for it, and I don’t have the mindset for it. No giant hikes, no backpacking, nada. no pooping in the woods. This Panda doesn’t shit in the woods.
There are tons of websites and discussion fora that provide suggestions of basic toiletry options, none of which work for me. I basically need a toilet. Soooooo, if I want to do a long driving trip; and I can’t afford to stay in hotels every night; and I won’t be relying on nature as my bathroom facility; and I’m not going to try and use only public restrooms wherever I go…there’s only one real solution.
A “mobile living quarter” has entered the chat
Because I’ve been interested in this type of trip for the last 20 years, I keep an eye out for various movable options. Nothing substantive in the way of research, just some bits here and there. Until about a month ago, when I started looking earnestly about “what kind of options are there?” that would allow me to travel with a bathroom.
I started my initial scoping based on an option where Andrea, Jacob and I could be together at some point in the trip — the highest common denominator. That pushed me in very specific directions, adding a lot of cost and logistical challenges to my whole trip. Until I realized that the portion that would be all three of us doesn’t actually require the same solution. For the portion where Jacob and Andrea join me, we COULD just stay in hotels for some of that time. This means that my “overall need” is more minimalistic — I need a mobile option when it is just me travelling alone, and some other options (maybe the same, maybe different) for when there is more than just me.
In short, what are the options? In order of increasing space, complexity and cost, they are:
Car or van life — I could get some sort of simple SUV or something like a Subaru Outback where the back folds flat with room for a bed;
Camper van — This is an obvious choice, with varying sizes from basic VW vans up through larger minivans to full-on short camper vans, some with sleeping berths over the cab, and with or without access to the camper area from the front of the vehicle;
Large motorhome — Again, this is basically the same as the camper van, just moving up in size to the full RV mode with a longer wheelbase, more space, etc., but everything is still integrated into one vehicle;
Small trailer towed by SUV — There are various designs of small trailers, from soft top foldout camper trailers to very small “balls” that are the size of a bed only to smaller tear-drop vehicles to converted horse trailers. Almost all of these trailers have to weigh under 3500 lbs, or the average SUV won’t be able to pull it, which keeps the size under 20 feet, and likely closer to 14 or 15;
Fifth wheel pulled by a truck — Most fifth wheel trailers require at least 3/4-ton trucks to attach the trailer mount, and you’re probably looking at 20-30 feet in length.
Full trailer pulled by a full-size truck — Generally speaking, once you get past the 25-foot mark, you’re likely clearly into the full-size 1-ton trucks with larger towing capacity. You just need it for the weight, no question.
Which options appeal to me?
For me, the final choice comes down to 4 variables…
How many people can comfortably use it?
How easy is it to use?
How much does it cost?
What are my functional uses with it?
I might as well take the bull by the horns and start with the last one, as the first three are a lot more about narrowing choices once I find a functional solution.
I watched this video about a guy who was going to visit his son in Alaska, and he had flown there. For whatever reason, he wasn’t able to stay with the son, and he wanted to see a bit of the surrounding area, so he rented a U-Haul van and showed how he equipped it for $318 for the month. Obviously, it was way less than a hotel room for even a weekend. But what was really interesting to me was how he talked about using your mobile living quarters to replicate four functions that you have in your home — a place to sleep, a place to cook, a place to relax and hang out, and, of course, a place to poop.
For those who go with the simple car/SUV option, the choices for handling your waste are pretty limited. You simply don’t have much space. Almost all of them go with some combination of a 5-gallon pail to poop in (compost added manually) and a pee “bottle”. While I might be able to manage the pee container under normal circumstances, I have too many images of trying to use it and ending up peeing on my bed or knocking the bottle over, etc. No, thank you. And not only am I not pooping in the woods, there is no part of me that screams, “yeah, I could balance comfortably and enjoyably on the edge of a bucket for several months.” Now, if you are one of those people who likes this idea, keeping it simple, the fact that you can buy a toilet seat to go on the bucket is not enough to change my mind. Amazon has one here: https://www.amazon.ca/Camco-41549-Toilet-Bucket-Seat/dp/B075BZVVLD?th=1 This is about all you can fit in an SUV.
As I will not be trying such amenities in a car or SUV/small van, vehicle option “1” is clearly out.
Small camper vans (#2) are marginally better. Some people have taken a slightly taller, true van-style approach and put a small porta-potty in the van. This is a huge attraction for the simplicity of a single vehicle, etc., but the more significant challenge for me is that many of these solutions turn the entire van into a bathroom that you sleep in. The place you stand to get into bed, or you stand to cook your food, or to sit to watch a movie on your laptop? It’s also the same place where you sit to poop. With no walls around you. It seems, umm, unclean. Non-hygienic. Sometimes, it’s even gross.
Now, to be fair, it’s not a proper toilet situation where you’re flushing a water-based toilet, and things could splash. But, under the heading of TMI, I generally am a “stander” when I go to wipe my butt. I am not a “reacher,” as they say. I feel like there may be some sort of configuration where this could work, add in some sort of shower curtain around you when using it, but I’m not sold. I would quickly find myself looking for a potential DIY conversion option where I could build a small enclosed “space” for my toilet. If I could find a way to do it, I might investigate further. There’s a really good video of various options here:
But, an additional reality check starts to hit. Yes, the van option works if I’M BY MYSELF. But if there are three people travelling in the vehicle at any time in the journey, not only do I not have room to sleep for all three, I don’t even have room for them to ride safely — all of the solutions that I have seen have just the two front bucket seats with the rest of the van used for the camper part. Jacob wouldn’t have a seat, unless we do the full bench seat in the first row (no, thank you). If you’ve seen some of the higher-end camper vans, the ones that are bordering almost on RV status, you’ll know that they DO make camper vans with more seating separate from the camper area. Yet almost all of those raise the price quite a bit. Ultimately, unless I find the perfect camper van with three seats, I think this option is out. I’ll still look, but I’m not hopeful. And it likely fails when compared to other options.
When I move on to a larger motorhome, the cost is likely prohibitive right out of the gate. But there is another aspect that starts to grate. Let’s say I’ve pulled into a campsite, I’m getting ready for dinner, and I suddenly realize that I forgot to get bread. Hard to have grilled cheese without bread. Oh, no worries, there’s a store less than 5 minutes away. Except I have to take the WHOLE RV with me. Some RVs have awnings and sections that pull out to give more space; maybe I’m connected to utilities. And now I have to unhook everything to go run an errand. It’s one of the reasons some people tow a small car or an ebike or bicycles with the RV, so they have a way to run an errand without moving the whole “trailer”. It is a shame that the cost and separate functionality are in conflict, but it’s partly because the fifth “function” (mobility) is conflicting with the other four (sleep, rest, cook, poop).
Some of those RVs are nicer than some apartments or hotel rooms I’ve been in. Some are even LARGER. But I think the RV is an unlikely option for cost and functionality (of course, a small camper van has the same issue, generally, but they often don’t have all the adjustments to larger pull-out sections, utility hookups, awnings, etc.). But you should look at one of the high-end options here, which are mind-blowing. Obviously, they are way more than I need, but still, you can do everything up to that level; yet I don’t want to take this to the store to get bread. If I was going to keep the vehicle afterwards or take more people with me, it might be more practical.
If I skip to the last two, the fifth wheel or full trailer, just as with the motorhome, the space and functionality are off the charts. I can have room for 10 people if I need it. The only limitation is the cost. I saw some beautiful trailers under 30 feet long (still towable, but that’s pushing it) with all the functionality of a whole house. They’re not specifically designed for a long haul with frequent stops; they’re more for a haul to somewhere you park for a decent duration, maybe even a whole summer. I could almost justify the cost, considering an option at the end of the trip to just sell it used and recoup some of the investment or perhaps find some land to park it on somewhere, connected perhaps to a septic system. But you need a decently sized truck to haul it, either 3/4 ton or the whole ton. And that puts me in the $60-$100K range for a new vehicle I only need for towing. I just can’t see how that works financially or even logistically.
I talked to my brother about some options, back when I thought I needed room for all three of us for the whole trip, and he suggested the best option was a fifth wheel, with 3/4 ton truck, and 23′ to 28′ length. It’s a good solution with solid analysis. But that is massive to me. I’ve never even pulled a camping trailer. Yet before I’ve even left my driveway, I’d be in the $100K range for anything new, maybe even $125K. It would be a good option if I needed a “highest-common-denominator” solution, but I don’t, after all.
If Andrea and I were selling our home, say moving to BC (like her aunt and uncle did) and living in the vehicle for six months to a year in different places, then a larger trailer or motorhome would be something to try, and I would likely move the option from viable to even feasible. Until then, I think the larger ones are too much, and the smaller ones are not enough.
So, Goldilocks, where does that leave me?
The most likely scenario is some form of a small towable trailer, perhaps a teardrop style, hopefully under 3500 lbs when loaded. Returning to the functionality test, they all have room to sleep for 1-2 people. Most layouts have a full-sized double or queen bed across the back end that converts to a table area. In front of the bed on the driver side is some form of dresser/cabinet/storage option; then the door. On the other side, in front of the bed (and across from the door) is some form of wet or dry bath (wet baths are where you close a door and the whole “room” becomes a shower); and to the right across the front is some form of sink and cooking area. It’s a functional yet cozy layout and most of the teardrops use some variation of it, or a mirror flip where the bed is at the front. Here is one of the better ones, a Bushwhacker Plus (the plus means it comes with a bathroom). In this one, I would need to add some sort of pop-up table if I wanted to leave the bed set up all the time (which I probably would).
Others have layouts that are more for one person, with more of a bench/bunk along the back wall and a galley along the passenger side. Some of them don’t have the kitchen IN the trailer but instead have a “hatch” on the back of the trailer so your kitchen is external, often under an awning.
I’ve looked through basic options for layouts, power options (some with solar built in, others as add on portability), and almost all with some form of fridge and cooking facility. But I suspect almost all of the options will succeed or fail with me solely based on the bathroom options.
I can sleep on a single bed, double bed, queen bed, it doesn’t matter. I can upgrade the mattress to better quality; for power, the only options that work in general are going to run laptops and my CPAP machine, charge my phones, etc. I can lie on the bed or sit in a chair to watch something on the laptop (I’ll need a good setup to type for longer periods of time as I blog or just write in general). So, sleep/relaxation will be covered somehow, and I’ll likely do some combo of a microwave and small hot plate to cover cooking options. If I had more space, I’d love to throw in a toaster oven, but well, that’s likely NOT in the list of space requirements.
I love some of the power options that come with external cooking, including a built-in / pull-out “grill” for BBQing and a small fully-charged/rechargeable freezer, although I want to talk to someone who has used the external-only option and see what they think of it…do they find it a pain in mosquito season? Food and cooking will be covered, there are lots of options, and variations. In other words, I’ll have some preferences but I can be flexible with multiple variations and combos, Which just leaves me needing the bathroom to work out.
I am willing to sacrifice a bit on the bathroom. If I have a good toilet option, and I would LOVE to find a solution with a dump tank rather than carrying a porta potty to a station, I can find another solution for showering. I am less worried about showering at a campground where I can wear water shoes if the bathroom is grody than I am about having the option to poop well. I always worry when travelling…what happens if 2 hours into the drive segment, I suddenly have to poo? Where am I going to do that? I regularly take Imodium on long car trips to keep things controlled if I am in any doubt. For a trip like this, I love the idea that I would have a toilet with me. It moves my “idea” from theory into potentially viable. I don’t know if 25K km is feasible, but at least the idea isn’t out the door yet.
As I said, I know there will be options for showering. Some people use an external shower area (basically a shower curtain around the back of your van); some people just use the campgrounds if they’re not too bad and you can wear good water shoes (your feet are the only part likely to touch anything); there are going to be some nights where I stay in a motel; and far more likely, I have no qualms about using a day pass at a Y or fitness facility to work out for an hour and then shower to my heart’s (and nose’s) content. If I have a shower that works, great; if not, fine.
But I need the toilet config to work. And while there are some really creative solutions, I’m a big guy. Some of them won’t work for me. I can’t wedge myself into a thin closet. In the video above, it seems doable. And if I sacrificed the shower, I could save some weight (no need for the same size water tanks), AND I could have space for a table. Or I could swap out the fold-down bed/table with a permanent single bed and a fold-down/fold-up desk of some sort.
Now, with this configuration, I still need a vehicle to pull the trailer. The same problem that I had with the fifth wheel, where I needed a 3/4-ton truck. Except, if I take a tear-drop style trailer, I can probably keep it under 3500 lbs, which then means that I can pull it with a standard SUV. Like the Toyota Highlander. I love the general Highlander-sized SUVs, and I’ve thought about upgrading to one often. More space for my astronomy gear, for example, easier to go to the cottage, great for car trips, great for everything, as long as I am okay with the larger vehicle. If I get a trailer that the Highlander (for example) could pull, then a new cost element emerges.
In about 2028, it will be time to upgrade my main vehicle. What if I take the cost I would spend to get a regular cross-over SUV and incrementally upgrade to the slightly larger Highlander for an extra $15-20K? That’s a far cry from paying $60-100K for a separate truck that I don’t really need for anything else (nor, honestly, do I want to drive one as my main vehicle). Teardrop trailers can hopefully be had used for under $20K. So, now I’m in the realm of adding maybe $30-40K initially yet having the option to recoup 10K+ of the cost when I get back by selling the trailer and still justifying the extra $20K for the SUV as my primary vehicle. So my incremental cost, estimated grossly, would drop to $10K perhaps. But that has huge implications for my overall gas, food, accommodations, even schedule.
All this “analysis” doesn’t quite bring the dream to the realm of feasible yet, maybe just viable. I’ll come back to that at the end.
Application of said trailer to said trip
If I assume I’m driving an SUV with small trailer, what does that look like for the trip? If I have reliable solar power, I’d try to boondock (stay at non-camp locations for free) 2 nights out of 3, maybe do full hookups every third night with a waste dumping option and full charging capabilities. So, let’s look at the various segments and see if my option presents any issues.
For Ottawa to Calgary, the only issue is if I get to Winnipeg and want to go to Churchill. I’d have to leave the car and trailer somewhere while I flew or took the train.
For Calgary through the Territories and back to Vancouver, it all depends on where and for how long Andrea and Jacob might join me. In a pinch, we could make the trailer work for a rough night or two, but we’re more likely to be in hotels/motels. And I’m a little nervous about driving some of the Northern logging roads when I’m not experienced at hauling a trailer (I’ll still be in month 1).
For Vancouver Island, I would hope to stay almost the whole time in the trailer everywhere I go, but am not sure I’ll have much flexibility for hook-up sites and timing. Or if I detour to drive towards Mount Baker, do I just leave my trailer behind somewhere?
For the Pacific coast, I worry most about taking the trailer through large American cities. I don’t want to do a lot of stop-and-go anywhere near L.A. Will I be able to bypass the traffic? Or do I bypass the whole city?
For the part over to New Orleans, I have silly concerns about camping anywhere near rattlesnakes or scorpions. Alligators tend not to come up to your door so I am not too worried about them. I have some concerns about personal safety, travelling on my own into more gun-friendly states. I shouldn’t, but I’m aware of it. I don’t want to get hassled because I’m driving with Ontario/Canadian plates.
And then there’s the trip back home. It’s relatively straight-forward, but I do want to spend some time perhaps in some of the cities, likely without the trailer in tow. This likely means driving through, dropping it, and then driving back into town (so you don’t have to drive through town again the next morning on your way to the next destination).
Summing it all up
Let’s see, more than 120 days and more than 25 thousand km. Plus, I have to tow a trailer, when I’ve never towed anything in my life, just so I have a reliable place to poop.
And I’ll have to figure out all the stuff for food, showering, too. That’s not solved.
I’ll have the loneliness factor to contend with.
It’s big and scary and challenging, and likely a 1000 things will go wrong (and right) along the way. I suck at mechanical problems. Digital, wiring, I feel more confident with, but mechanical? I just feel helpless. I’ll need to try and take some training before I go on maintenance, repairs, etc. But still. It’s a lot to undertake.
And honestly? Would my health let me do it when the time comes? I have plans, sure, to improve my health. But what if it isn’t enough?
Some days, the daunting challenge scares me; other days, it inspires me. Today? It depresses me. Sigh.
I don’t know if I can do this one, but I’m not giving up on it until I work through all the possibilities so I can see the best possible option if I were to try. It’s a lot of work for an option, I know. But dreams do that to you, I guess.
What’s your dream? Do you have one you want to do but are not quite able to believe that you can actually do it?
