Category Archives: Pondside Planner

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Letting go of an observatory dream…

The PolyBlog
April 30 2020

I have this dream of a backyard observatory but I know it isn’t very realistic. Yet I let myself get excited earlier this week about a new possibility, and my COVID cabin fever let it go too far.

When some restrictions lift, we are hoping to get somebody in for a small backyard renovation project (landscaping, fence repair) and I was wondering if I could tack on an option to have a better set up for observing at home. I had a small epiphany that I thought gave me much more flexibility in how it could work and, as I said, I got excited temporarily. And then reality crashed in.

My current observing locations are limited

I’m in Nepean (a suburb of Ottawa) and it is not exactly a dark-sky option. My only spot for observing is the backyard which is close to houses, both front and back, which gives me a view to the South. I can see a bit to the SW, and high on the West and North above the neighbours. Nothing to the East as my house blocks that completely. Plus there are often house lights on in the neighbours’ places. In short, it is what it is and it’s the only usable site where I have regular and easy access.

My initial set up time was one of the major factors in choosing the scope I did — a NexStar 8SE, go-to mount in alt-az mode. No EQ, no counterweights to fiddle with, nada. For physical set up, I can be up and running in about 10 minutes. The problem is that those 10 minutes are after I get all my gear to the spot where I’m going to observe.

For RASC star parties, I load the car (10-15 minutes), drive to the site (45 minutes), and then I can set up while I am unloading. I then observe for at least 3 hours, it’s a big event, I’m the organizer, yada yada yada. It’s worth the effort. It’s not great “observing” for the night, you mostly show whatever planet is available to people, repeatedly, and then maybe show a few clusters, etc. Then I pack up (10-15 minutes), drive home (45 minutes), and take everything out of the car and into the garage or house (10-15 minutes). It’s not a light outing. Adding in my RASC duties onsite, it can be 90 minutes from the time I leave my house to the time I am viewing, and 75 minutes from ending to having everything unloaded again at home. Good thing it is only once a month.

For personal observing, I could drag my gear to some darker locations like the Fred Lossing Observatory in Almonte or the AstroPontiac site in Luskville, but that would be similar to the star party outing, except the driving part takes an hour or more to get there. I wouldn’t have star party duties, but I would have to drive into the site, figure out where to set up, a few extra admin steps. Again, about 75-90 minutes from deciding to “go” to viewing.

When we go to the in-laws’ cottage, I usually drag my scope along because it is a dark site, there are a bunch of people to show stuff to in the sky who appreciate the views, and I can observe for a couple of nights potentially. It’s worth the extra effort. But I confess, even then, lugging everything down to the car by myself and then back again at the end of the night is a lot of work.

RASC parties are about once a month, I might throw in FLO or AstroPontiac every other month, and a couple of times a year at the cottage. It’s about all I can handle, at least until I retire.

So observing at home is the next-best option. To be honest, though, the issue isn’t necessarily set-up time so much as the set-up time in relation to the viewing time. If I can view for a long-time then set-up times are worth it; if I can’t, that set-up time over-shadows my experience.

Set-up time at home

When I go out to those other sites, sure, there is a long lag time between the “go” point and actual observing, but the viewing is better in darker skies and I make it worth it — 2, 3, even 4 hours of observing. Some retired people in the club will go out on a Wednesday night when it’s clear and observe for 5 or 6 hours, including some imaging, because they don’t have to get up early the next day. I don’t usually have that luxury. But astronomy is a fair weather hobby — you need to seize the opportunity when a clear night sky appears.

Right now, in order to set up, I have to lug everything from my garage to the backyard and leave the garage door open while I do it. Which doesn’t excite me when I lost $3K worth of scope equipment last year when I accidentally left it open and unattended one night. But even if I address that risk by moving everything through the house, it is still a 20-30 minute job to get set up. At the end of the night, I frequently just move everything into the family room so I can get closed up fast (basic take-down) and worry about putting everything away later (detailed take-down). Of course, that also means it is a giant eyesore in the family room next to the breakfast table with everything in everyone’s way until I get to it. And if I have a chance at viewing the next night, I frequently leave it in place for a day or two to cut the second outing’s time.

I have to lug my scope, mount, tripod, couple of cases of equipment, observing chair (I usually don’t even bother), small table (often don’t bother), etc. I also have to find my phone, grab a camera adapter, go to the living room to get my power supply for the scope. It’s a whack of gear to move and all of it takes time. Thankfully, I don’t do any advanced imaging that requires a laptop, cabling, webcam, power, heat shields, table, chair, etc. I keep everything in a cupboard in the garage, but if the car is in there, it is hard to get in and out of the cupboard easily. I usually just back it out, which means I also have to pull it back in later. Obviously not a big issue, just one more step.

Let’s be generous and call it 10 minutes to lug everything and 10 minutes to set up. 20 minutes from the go decision to observing the sky, if I did it every night and had an efficient process. Plus another 20 minutes to put everything back. For me, that 40 minutes is only worth it if I can observe for at least 40 minutes and more likely 60-90. If it is something “quick”, it really isn’t worth my time. I’ve toyed with buying a backpack scope, something I could add an EP or two to and be able to observe in 60 seconds. But it’s not what I want to use. I want to use my real scope. Unfortunately, I am frequently not “free” until about 8:00 p.m. at night unless I make a special effort to be done earlier, and in the summer months, viewing doesn’t work until after 9:00 p.m. anyway. I can manage a couple of hours of observing on a good night, but most nights it would be way less than that with other things that fill my day. Exciting things like laundry, for example.

Jacob has a small scope and some accessories too if he wants to set up as well and he can’t stay up very late on a weeknight so that’s not usually worth it for him. I can use it myself, but that doesn’t change the calculation much. One less box to move than using my larger scope. It is a big difference in the amount of space it takes up in a car, but not in set-up time.

The attraction of an observatory

I’m a visual observer, mainly, not an imager and so my main interest in set up is actually not in an observatory. I would much rather have an open-air, non-claustrophobic set-up. A cement pad would be nice, sure. But walls and a dome? Not really. Almost every observatory I have ever been in seems “small” or “tight”. This is usually a function of both cost or available space to the builder. Two things that are at a premium in just about any build. For me, the two main attractions to having an observatory would be blocking light pollution and set-up time.

Starting with the light pollution, if you have one of those classic domes that you see on big telescopes in TV shows and movies, you can open a portal wide enough for the scope to look through while blocking all the surrounding ambient light. That is huge in light-polluted locales like a suburb. It doesn’t give you a dark sky, but it really helps.

Setup time though, as you can see from above, would be huge for me. My scope would be permanently set up and ready to go. I could flip a switch, put in an EP, run the alignment, and I could be observing the skies within 5 minutes. No lugging equipment everywhere.

The variables for building

I mentioned two variables above for why an observatory is attractive, but actually building one involves five main variables, in my view. I’ve read a lot online, and many of the views of experts add a host of other considerations about remote viewing, access to the building, materials, layout inside, etc., but those are really secondary considerations.

To me, the big factors are location as a proxy for functionality, size, cost, build options, and the appearance.

For context, I should mention that my backyard is a rectangular shape, running north/south. As I mentioned above, my house is on the east side blocking all views in that direction; there are houses to the north and west that block low horizons in those directions (particularly to the west); and I have a relatively clear view to the south with obstruction at the horizon. And, of course, I can see above me. We have a deck at the north end that occupies the whole width of the backyard, and steps in the middle of the deck down to the yard on the south end. The deck is about 20′ across the end of the yard by 16′ into the yard; the grassy area itself is about 20′ wide x 30′. Not huge, but not dinky either.

For location and functionality, the closer I get to the south, the more problem I have with the fence line for viewing low on the horizon but the more I can see to the north. Equally, the closer I get to the back fence to the west, the less I can see above the houses behind me. The so-called perfect location for an observatory would be to avoid all of this and put it on top of the house. Not happening. Past that, the next-best option would be close to the middle of the yard lengthwise (north and south) and right against the house. This would maximize views for north, south and west. The problem? That totally screws up the backyard for any other use. So that’s out.

When I set up my scope for a night, I usually set up on the deck itself. It raises me up a bit which helps with my views to the west. But because of the location of a BBQ, I’m in the middle of the yard width-wise (east/west). It works okay, although we added a gazebo on the deck, and its roof does obstruct some things. If I want more northerly views, I can set up on the lawn. Usually if I set up there, I do so in the general middle of the yard in case I can see “something” to the east past my house. Neither of those are options for me for an observatory though. One would be right in the way on the deck or getting to the stairs, and the other would eat up even more of the yard. I’d love an observing pad at either location, but that doesn’t work very well either. I either use a pier there and totally mess up things, or I need one big enough to have my wide tripod setup and walk around for observing, potentially stepping off it and twisting an ankles. We could lower it to lawn height to avoid such trips or ankle-twisting, but it still eats up valuable yard space, which my wife wants to conserve for our son to play in.

By the process of elimination, there is one area in the yard that I can use, which is about a 6’x6′ area next to the deck against the back fence. I’ve ignored it in previous considerations because it is too low for the west views. Equally, if I wanted to try going with a pre-fab model, the most popular ones (SkySheds) are minimum 8’x8′. I don’t have enough room, even if I liked them (which I don’t — doors are too small to get in and I find them cramped). However, my small epiphany was two-fold. First, I realized that I could raise that location off the ground and make it deck height, which would help with north, some east, and a little bit west. Not awesome but doable. Planets nearing the horizon would be lost but if they were up anywhere south in the night, I could grab them. I have wanted to check out Venus the last few months but it’s a 10-minute viewing to see it and 40 minutes to set up. Pass. If the Ottawa Valley Astronomy Friends had been able to set up in the parking lot at Chapters in Kanata, I would have driven out there one night with my family. It will likely be gone by the time I get around to setting up again, but I digress. It is a huge compromise on functionality, but it is the only space available to me, and it is at least usable.

I had always discounted this as even an option as 6’x6′ is pretty tight with my set up. The tripod sticks out pretty far, you have to walk around the legs, etc. If you had a second person wanting to look, it would be way too crowded. And a strong likelihood of kicking the legs, throwing off alignment. Raising it up to the deck wouldn’t help with that, still too small a space. Until I had the second part of the epiphany.

If I had a permanent spot, I could put in a pier. And with a pier, there would be no tripod legs. Nothing to trip over. In short, A MUCH SMALLER FOOTPRINT. And easily doable in a 6’x6′ space with vertical walls (no domes). Now we’re talking.

Enter the other variables

So, what would I need someone else to do? Well, I need them to extend my deck into that space. And pour the concrete pier. We’re hoping to have some landscaping work done, so if we bundled it somehow with some fence repair, maybe I could get the incremental cost down to about $1500? It’s a REALLY small space, but it still is going to require 2 new post holes, inspection, and a concrete pier. But after that, I could potentially do the rest?

If I went for something that was 6’x6′, and about 6′ tall, a nice little cube, it’s probably too big. It would seem large in proportion to the deck and block the view from the gazebo and family room window somewhat. Well, frak. Okay, I can’t go full-size custom observatory. That would be beyond my DIY capabilities anyway. I’d have to pay someone to do that and the cost would sky-rocket.

But I’ve seen some other ones that are “roll-away” observatories. Not roll-off roofs or domes, but actually the door opens and you roll the whole structure away. Basically, it looks like a telephone booth. But when you open the door, instead of finding a phone, there’s a telescope. And instead of stepping “into” the booth, the booth part is on wheels and you roll it out of the way so all you’re left with is a telescope on a pier.

I’ve seen some other designs called “motel-o-scopes” that look a lot like a very large birdhouse. Or a gigantic mailbox. In that design though, there is a supporting “table” that is permanent and wouldn’t work in my footprint.

But the pier and roll-away phone booth seemed like a doable/viable option. If I break it down into smaller pieces after someone else builds the deck and pours the pier, I would have digestible chunks that I could do myself:

  • Attach a plate to the top of the pier — some rods go in when you build the pier, you attach a plate that you can buy commercially using some standard nuts to level it;
  • Attach the mount from the tripod to the pier — easy peasy;
  • Build a frame for the phone booth — relatively easy;
  • Add some siding — wood siding is easy, not sure how to weather-proof it, but there are options;
  • Add a roof — a bit more challenging for me, but it’s small enough, might find something commercial to attach but can be built and shingled;
  • Add some interior insulation perhaps, sun-shielding if necessary, smooth panels — easy enough;
  • Add a door — custom size one out of plywood or something like a barn door design, or scale it up to fit a standard size narrow door, doable;
  • Add some wheels — this seems the most challenging to me as I’ve never done much with wheels but if I’m buying commercial options, not trying to DIY in tracks or anything, should be workable, might have to pay a bit more for easy over functional;
  • Build an adjustable floor to go around the pier and stop any critters or anything from getting inside from underneath — designs already exist with hinges, steel wool, and small locks; and,
  • Add a hasp to the outside.

I could commit to this. It would challenge me. My father or my brother Don? They could build it in an afternoon. Me? Probably a week, once I have everything worked out.

It almost sounded like a plan. But it isn’t. Because there are problems I can’t solve.

If I make it small enough, it looks like a giant electrical box. Which is ugly. You can try and pretty it up, but it the end, it looks like a box. Because it is.

If you make it a bit larger, then you can make it look like a small shed or house, it is prettier but it also starts to look imposing next to the deck and blocks some of the view from the family room window. Or as most people think of it, “Hey, you built an outhouse in full view of your yard.”

Plus, not for nothing, I can’t do that myself. I would need to pay someone else to do it, and the cost goes up considerably. Too high a cost for suburban viewing and a location in the backyard that is already a huge compromise on functionality.

So I got excited about an option that works for functionality/location and size, but not for cost, build options, or quality. Well, frak.

So what’s my backup option?

The two backup options I have are relatively separate. First, I could pour a cement pad somewhere. But again, I’m back to screwing up the backyard if I make it big enough to use with a large tripod. The pier can have a small footprint design but a full tripod can’t. So I guess I’ll use the lawn or the deck still. It works, it’s fine.

Secondly, I could put some sort of shed in the backyard. I looked at several options, including ones that would allow me to move my tripod in and out without having to break it down. In an ideal world, I could even leave my scope in it, even though it isn’t recommended to move your mount with the scope attached. I’d have to be careful while doing it, but it could be done. Some people have bought commercial systems where it is set up on a cart and you wheel the whole thing out. But that adds too much cost and instability for what you get, in my opinion. And doesn’t really make much sense with my set-up.

Unfortunately, the more I think about it though, the less comfortable I am with putting my scope and accessories in the shed. It wouldn’t be fully insured without expensive extra riders, the deductibles are too high, and I don’t want to deal with losing any of the stuff anyway. I was willing to adjust if I could build it in with a small pier and padlock the crap out of it without it looking inviting to someone.

Equally, I have the same space limitations for a shed. If it is big enough to house things while put together (like my scope), than it is too big, ugly and/or takes up too much space.

Conclusion

I guess I can forget about an observatory. I guess it is kind of the classic cliché…you can have it cheap, nice, or good. Pick two. Or in my case, one. Same for the shed. Sigh.

I really have to stop thinking about this and just accept the limitation. I get excited too much and then the resulting crash is too hard.

Rebooting my to-do list

The PolyBlog
April 16 2020

For those of you who have known me for awhile, you likely know that I used to be quite anal retentive about goal-setting. Each December, I would start thinking about my version of New Year’s resolutions which were to do some hard-core planning for the year. I really like the “Inbox Zero” equivalent of personal planning, and my to-do list reflected that preference.

If you haven’t seen Inbox Zero, it is originally for people who had trouble managing their inbox. In the planning industry, it was the “do you manage your inbox or does your inbox manage you?” idea. In short, most people have large inboxes. Dozens, hundreds of messages, maybe even thousands, all in a single folder. Which is an incredibly inefficient filing system. Think of it as the equivalent of 200 post-it notes around your desk. How do you find anything? How do you avoid missing something critical?

The Inbox Zero approach is designed to remove that clutter. You go through every email in the box until you’re done the first time. With each email, you either deal with it immediately (for something that takes a minute or two)…and if it is a repetitive task like answering a request for a copy of some document you regularly send out, then take a few extra minutes to setup macros for quick responses. Then any future one of those requests can be dealt with in seconds. Many of the emails are likely ones that you can just delete. At least the first time you do a triage. And then there are two final categories.

The first category is for ones that are simply things you want to read later. You don’t have to “do” anything with them, but you don’t want to delete them either. Think of them as an equivalent of a “To Be Read” pile of books. Do you need that TBR pile on your desk? Nope, file them in a folder and pull some out from time to time when you are available. Or if it is really important to you, schedule 15-30 minutes a day where you’ll just read the best thing in the folder, shutting everything else out.

The last category is for the “to-do” list items. You didn’t respond yet, you have to do some work on them (maybe your boss was tasking you with something), and it isn’t something you can just file and pull out later. This is your “active” set of emails. But why are they in your inbox cluttered up with everything else? The Inbox Zero approach insists that you at least move them to an ACTIVE folder with no more than a screenful of emails or you make a list of action items and put them on your to-do list. Then, you can move them around on your to-do list, reprioritize as needed, delete if necessary or possible, whatever you need to do. But you’re not using a pile of electronic post-it notes on your desk to do it.

Mental Inbox Zero

To me, the Inbox Zero’s real benefit is that it declutters your active workspace so your to-do list isn’t screaming at you “do me, do me, do me”. You aren’t managing your inbox so much as managing your time in comparison with all your other priorities. But once it’s on the list, you don’t have to be trying to remember it mentally. It’s gone from your mental inbox. It’s on a list, and you can read that list when you need to. In the meantime, you can focus on the most important or urgent task YOU choose to do next.

So I used to apply the same principle and discipline to my to-do list. I have a master list of things I am planning to do, thinking about doing, or maybe just dreaming about doing some day. Some of the items are almost bucket list level; others are short-term items like picking up the drycleaning. So, with lots of refinement over the years, I created my own personal development model with “blue” cerebral / cognitive items, “green” family or emotional items, “yellow” social or community items, and “red” financial or active leadership items (see the image to the left of the title). The colours match up with the Insights Discovery model for personality profiles, which has its limit but works as an organizing metaphor for me. I have extensive groupings and categorizations too within those colours:

  • Health, weight/fitness, cooking;
  • Family, home organization, reading;
  • Finances, organization, activities;
  • Learning, photography, astronomy, volunteering; and,
  • Computers, website management, blogging, media management, writing.

22 categories in total, with three levels of prioritization within it — things I can do in the next week or so; things in the next month; and things that are parked for now.

I then keep a separate “subset” list that I use for my weekly to-do list. It’s essentially the “things I can do in the next week”, but triaged into five more granular priority levels. I use it to manage my week, without being cluttered by looking at my MT or LT priorities. I’ve already done the triage at the start of the week, now I just manage what I committed to this week. If something new comes up, I either write it down on my to-do list and add it during the weekly update, or I add it to a temporary folder and triage that each week for additions/changes.

Two years without my to-do list

I had been using variations of my approach for almost 20 years when I decided two years ago to put it on hold. There was a very specific reason — I thought, at the time, that if I was to make any progress on my goal of weight loss, then I needed to marshal all my resources to that goal. And I was right, in a way. It was indeed the only way to make progress initially. But over time, I’ve slipped. I had managed to achieve almost 20% of my overall weight-loss goal when depression wiped me out. It kicked my ass good. I had promised myself I wouldn’t return to a long list of to-do list items unless or until I achieved my goal.

But over the two years that I’ve been working on my weight loss in varying degrees of commitment, I realized that my initial success was great, but I can’t maintain the pace. So it is going to take me almost 3 times as long to achieve my goal, measured in years rather than months. I honestly can’t maintain a good mental state that long without some structure to the rest of my life.

And therein lies the benefit and the rub. My to-do list can both give me a sense of accomplishment or momentum and distract me from real growth opportunities (measuring the wrong thing or missing real growth opportunities because I didn’t put it on the list). It both focuses and narrows my perspective.

For two years, I have figured out what I need to do on my weight, and I feel in control of where I’m going. Maybe not at the pace I would like, but on track. I’ve got the initial tools I need now, and I know where to get the next set I need later. And the next set after that.

But my mental health needs that original structure back, and so I sat down this past weekend and updated my to-do list. I’m exaggerating the gap a little…I had updated it about 4 months ago, and about 8 before that, and about 8 before that. Nothing really aggressive, just weeding out things that had expired or already passed for time. Or were simply just not relevant to me anymore. For example, I took into account considerations where I went “left” on some decision point and I could therefore drop the possible options if I had gone right instead. I was simply updating it, I wasn’t managing it.

Let’s be clear though…this is not a simple to-do list. There are 280 items on it. It is, in fact, more of a detailed project management tool where the “project” is me. Even my sublist for this week has 67 items on it, although I would say only about 20 are really truly “this week”…the other 47 are more ambitious areas to consider if I start moving down that path on one of the areas. 50-60 is about normal for me, with about 20 “core” goals and another 40 that I wouldn’t mind seeing some progress on, as time permits.

So far I have knocked off ten, this post itself is number 11 oddly enough, and what was number 1? Updating the list itself. It is almost always number 1. I can’t manage my priorities if my priorities aren’t up to date. Past the initial 10, another five or six are well underway, so I’ll probably hit 20-25 things done by Sunday. A bit above average, but it fluctuates.

Momentum

One of the benefits of the to-do list is it gives me an automatic sense of momentum. I know what all my “items” are, I’ve triaged the 20-60 that I might do something about this week, and I’m knocking a bunch off the list. By definition, I’m working on things that I’ve already determined are important to me. Which usually allows me to stave off basic depressive tendencies.

Occasionally, the momentum bubble bursts. New projects coming in are usually not destructive to me, I expect those and I’m flexible enough to adjust. New priorities? By definition, I have to adjust. That’s why the list exists.

However, what CAN suck the life out of me is bogging down on 2 or 3 items in different categories. If I run into a snag on one area, I can usually get some juice out of progress on another area here or there. But if I run into multiple blocks, then there is a risk that my frustration with two or three will start to ripple into others that were originally progressing just fine.

None of that is insurmountable. I feel like I’m back on track, although the schedule of the day tends to present some challenges to shifting gears between work life, homeschooling life for my son, general family life, and carving out some time when I can be productive on personal items. I’m even ready to blog again about my weight loss plans, albeit a bit more obliquely than before.

But for now, I’m happy to be back in business.

This is my brain on Covid-19 watch

The PolyBlog
March 19 2020

For the news that has permeated our social media and the decisions that have changed our world, I am struck most by something small. Today, Thursday, is my benchmark from one week ago.

As part of the astronomy group that I belong to, we were in the process of having a demonstration workshop for telescopes, and as the “lead” for the workshop, we were two days from it happening on the 14th. On Thursday the 12th, the news wasn’t quite that dire yet. Things were getting worse, but nobody was cancelling anything yet. And I was debating whether or not to cancel the workshop.

Another member involved in the event emailed me and asked the question, “should we or shouldn’t we”? And it was a legitimate question. As I said, nobody else was cancelling things anywhere yet. It was still business as usual. None of the schools were closed, social distancing wasn’t even a thing really, and all we had was general thoughts about ways to deal with the virus. The term flattening the curve hadn’t gone viral, so to speak, at least not in Canada.

With no real guidance from anyone, I mused aloud on FB, and asked about “how do we decide these things?”. Eventually, I found the Health Canada guidelines for events, and I applied it to the event. Even with those parameters, it was a toss-up. I loved that there was a framework at all, but it didn’t really guide me to a decision. On the negative side, it was indoors, small-ish space, some of our guests might be elderly. On the positive side, risk was low, we weren’t going to be hugging or anything. It was a “talk” more or less.

Yet for me the deciding factor, which wasn’t part of the framework, was that the event was totally optional. It was an “addon” and easily rescheduled to a later date. So I made the call and said no. We weren’t all in agreement either, and some of the members nudged back to suggest we were over-reacting.

Then the schools closed on Friday. Other events started cancelling. Theatres cancelled shows. Airlines started sounding the closure alarm. Things went dark really fast. We were working from home on Monday and Tuesday.

Later, on Wednesday, I was thinking about something else, and I thought about the workshop. And honestly, in my mind, I was thinking not that it was just 6 days before that I had cancelled the event but more like 13 days or so. Two weeks, not one. Until I thought of the actual date and realized that it was just 6 days before that the decision had been a theoretical toss-up. The answer, at the time on the Thursday, had NOT been obvious. Lots of intelligent people involved couldn’t agree on the best course of action. I have family, friends and colleagues who in that same time-frame of Wednesday-Friday were making decisions about travel to Florida and elsewhere. Some stayed, some went. And everyone who went ended up having to deal with complicated stressful returns to get home. Because the world around us changed drastically each day.

But I wasn’t travelling.

And work wasn’t that dire since we can do some of the work from home. Plus Andrea works in the same place so we’re in it together. Info I don’t have is info she might; or info she hasn’t heard, I might have already heard. And we’re home together. Jacob is here with us, and we sent him to private daycare on Monday. Which we probably shouldn’t have done, in retrospect, although it is just the same as him being with us in many ways, just different family. It freed us up to work, although in the end, I didn’t accomplish much.

Yet for me, the real change is the workshop. I feel like a quantum leap away from that person I was last Thursday. Naive, confused, optimistic, assessing risk without knowing the impact. Sure, I made the “right” call, but I could have gone the other way just as easily. And yet a week later, it is so obvious now that there was NO OTHER CALL to make. But that wasn’t clear at the time.

I can’t believe it is just a week, and the way our views, our world has shifted. My view has shifted. I don’t feel traumatized or anything, as I did with the tornado’s effect on me eighteen months ago. I’m isolated, I’m protected.

But I went out for groceries today, the first time since that last Thursday outing after supper. We had gone to the store for a few items ahead of a potential Armageddeon on the weekend, even though hoarding of TP had already started. We were almost mocking people for their over-reaction to issues, but we still stocked up on frozen and canned items. Nothing extraordinary. Today was different. I debated whether I should take my grocery bins in. Should I use my reusable cloth bags for produce. Everyone was encouraged to use social distancing, which wasn’t hard in a mostly empty store. Workers just about outnumbered customers. Should I buy deli meat? What’s the risk factor for THAT? Even my purchases in a few cases were over-reactions. Oh, I’ll grab two boxes of that cereal so I don’t have to come back again next week. We’re planning some extra baking, get some more eggs.

After 40 minutes, I was at the cash, and we rang through no problem. No biggie. But by the time I was done bagging things, and paid, I was mentally done. I felt like I was underwater almost. I came out of the store, got to the car, and I felt like I needed to have some sort of decontamination treatment. I felt dirty, and infected, and there were germs everywhere. Let me be clear — there weren’t. But my brain was suddenly in super-suspicion mode. The carefree shopping of last Thursday with Andrea and Jacob was replaced with “don’t take anyone else with you”, “don’t add risk to your required outing”, “get in, get out, don’t touch anything you don’t have to”.

We also did take out tonight for dinner for a break (Lone Star). I had ordered ahead at 3:00 p.m. for 6:00 p.m. so I could get in, pay, grab it and go. Instead, I was stuck in their little foyer waiting with four other people, none of us close to each other, but my skin was crawling the whole time. After paying, the food wasn’t ready, so I waited outside for 10 more minutes. And had them bring the food to the door. I didn’t want to go back in. And on pickup at a counter, I rarely tip. I don’t tip McDonald’s, why would I tip there? Today, absolutely I was tipping. If you’re working that counter today, you deserve every tip I’ve never given a counter worker before.

And my skin was still crawling when I got home. I wanted to wipe off every product with anti-bacterial wipes or cloths. Total over-reaction of course, but it took me being home with my family about 15 minutes before I reset my internal balance.

I thought I was doing fine. Maybe that’s true when I’m in my bubble, just don’t ask me to leave. A week since I was doing a toss-up of whether or not to have a telescope clinic. Wow.

Articles I Like: The Ultimate Guide for Reinventing Yourself

The PolyBlog
January 14 2020

I like the idea of ongoing change, and no better book exists in my view than Change: What Really Leads to Lasting Personal Transformation by Jeffrey A. Kottler (BR00118). I blogged about it extensively, but that doesn’t mean shorter pieces out there don’t catch my interest. Like this one from GetPocket although the original was Inc. This one takes the premise of “planning” your reinvention rather than settling for reacting to something and creating a spontaneous reinvention. It outlines some reactive ones (like a change in the market changing your business life), shifting businesses to a more sustainable model (although no reason that can’t apply to your personal life too), or a change in lifestyle (similar focus). However, the one I liked was the one the author called the “big Aha! moment” as a catalyst.

Many people waste years looking for a magic bullet and wallowing in their misery, I guess I wasn’t meant to do that. I remember as though it were yesterday, waking up one morning with absolute certainty that I would tender my resignation, change careers (although I had no idea to what), become a better person, grow spiritually, and become the best single parent possible. It was an evolution that took place over three years, and the journey continues, but I can say that I found happiness very quickly once I made the decision to change. 

The mere act of committing to change is the single biggest step you can take.

The Ultimate Guide for Reinventing Yourself | GetPocket

I like the categories, although I felt most of them were “reactive” even though he pitched them as “planning” for them. Not a bad list though.

2020 – Almost dreading the year ahead…

The PolyBlog
December 29 2019

Christmas was a bit rough for me this year, and I’d like to tell you it was something meaningful like grief, being separated from family, or something that would seem to justify the discombobulation I have been feeling. But it is more like ennui, not really depression.

Normally, as I approach January, I’m excited. It starts in late December, and it carries me through to the New Year. I’m USUALLY looking forward to a new year, setting goals, making plans. Renewed commitment or a fresh page, whatever you want to call it. But I’m not feeling it.

It’s not that I haven’t been thinking about my goals, I have. Whether I would set some even though I promised myself I wouldn’t set any new ones until I achieved my last one — the weightloss one that has been kicking my ass the last 16 months. And trying to wrap my head around what I want to do in 2020. Particularly as I haven’t been tracking them for almost a year.

Group A. Health / Fitness / Cooking

My non-weight-related health areas are simple. I need to go to the dentist and I need to figure out what is going on with my legs (my hips have been hurting a lot the last few weeks and my legs seem a bit more swollen than normal).  But the real challenge in this area is more for Jacob. He’s likely to have significant surgery in 2020 with a lengthy recovery, and he is DEFINITELY not looking forward to it. Particularly as it likely won’t give him any benefits in the short-term vs. avoiding some problems in the medium- to long-term. I’ll take off 4-6 weeks or so to help with the recovery, but still, nothing “fun” by a long shot.

On the fitness side, I know what I need to do, I just need to get back into proper eating schedules and routines, confirm my latest meds and get an exercise routine going in the basement, including assembling some equipment I bought over a year ago. I’m also hoping to use the push-scooter that I bought a while ago.

For the cooking side, I’m going to do a baking challenge in partnership with Jacob. Details will follow, but likely one target per month. There’s a few other little things in there, but that’s the big one.

Overall, though, here’s the problem. Not many of those are “woohoo” goals that will get me out of bed in the morning. Instead, they are more “good to do FOR me” than “fun to do”. And yes, I can find ways to make them more fun, so if you’re thinking of responding “oh, do this or that”, then you’re missing the point and you’re not reading properly.

Group B. Family / Home / Reading

For the family side, we’re thinking about a reward trip for Jacob after the surgery, likely to Vegas next hockey season to see the Golden Knights play. I suspect that will push us into 2021, so not really part of 2020. In the meantime, we have lots of shows at NAC and elsewhere to go to, some stuff to do with Jacob (Millennium Falcon lego, build a robot, design a board game or two, etc.), but most of it is day-to-day stuff. I have been thinking about a weekend away, either with or without the family, pros and cons for both, and I may even do both. Nothing concrete yet.

For the home, the theme of the year will be The Purge. I intend to dump a ton of stuff. But again, as with above, this is all work. It’s hardly something to look forward to, other than looking forward to being done.

On the reading side, I’ll do the PolyWogg Reading Challenge again. People want to do it again, but also want “badges” as rewards. Not sure how that’s going to work yet. I’m also thinking about working my way through a few huge series. Not sure about that yet.

The reading will be fun, but is it “goal worthy”? Honestly, I would do it without the challenge, the challenge just keeps me more organized and reading some more challenging stuff rather than the latest fluff.

Group C. Finances / Organize / Activities

The only interesting thing under Finances that doesn’t look like cleaning up is figuring out my retirement. I was excited about that previously, and I still am. So I’ll try to get that done in the next couple of months so I can start picking the date of my retirement. I’m about 5.5 years out, I think, but it would be good to plan for what that looks like in detail.

Under organization, I’m hoping the Purge helps with a lot of that, but beyond that, I want to make some progress related to genealogy, so a friend will be helping on that, likely in January. Some of that can be fun. I’d also like to do something with computers and video games for organizing a game console with Raspberry Pi, but it’s hard to figure out where exactly I would put that in my list. I might not get to it this year though as it’s a huge learning curve.

For activities, this was more a category for bucket-list lite activities, like axe-throwing or archery. I’ll knock a couple off the list, but after my 50by50 list, I’m pretty tame with my list. Some fun stuff, sure, but nothing BIG to plan around.

Group D. Learning / Photography / Astronomy / Volunteering

For formal learning, I’ll likely concentrate on finishing my MetaLiteracy course, a photography online course, and a “programming” course related to apps and games. None of them are huge draws for me. I want to do them, but they are more stepping stones to other things that I would like to do, but need a bit of pre-capacity building first. If I get really adventurous, I might CONSIDER a formal studio event. There’s a local guy who runs studio days where he hires 5-6 models who are looking to build their portfolio and in exchange for him giving them a good selection of free photos for their collection, he also brings in 8-10 photographers to practice so we get some experience too. And if by chance we come up with some great shots, we share them too. It might be cool, but I’m not ready for that yet.

In the broader photography realm, my really big project is my gallery website. I want to move all my photos from the Piwigo installation (separate software) and embed it directly in my WordPress gallery. That’s 13K photos and I’m about 10% done so far. I’ve got a basic workflow figured out, and I’m enjoying the feeling of accomplishment, but it is a HUGE project, and mostly just plain slogging for huge portions of it. I’m mostly trying to prevent myself from doing a deep winter dive into my cyber setup and emerging depressed in March wondering who everyone is and where all the snow came from that will be piled up in my driveway. It will open up a huge set of opportunities for more blogging topics, and photobooks, and a whole host of other things, but I have to slog through 13K photos to get there. I am going to try limiting myself to a single gallery each day, but that schedule would take me most of the year. We’ll see if I can handle two or not.

Over in the wonderful world of astronomy, the options are almost endless. I tried to withdraw as Star Party Coordinator, and there were no takers. So I guess I’m going to keep doing part of the job at least. I have some new helpers though, so that will assist me in managing the workload. However, my real desire for 2020 is split between figuring out astrophotography combining my iPhone with the telescope as well as also writing an entire PolyWogg Guide to Astronomy. I need to make sure it doesn’t descend into slogging for either one, but I really want to devote some time to it this coming year.

On the volunteering side, separate from RASC involvement, I’m hoping to be more available for AstroPontiac outings as well as tweaking some background settings for some of the websites I run. The outings will at least be fun!

Group E. Website / Blog / Media / Writing

For my website, I want to start posting more of my own writing, and I want to actually DO some of that writing. I started some stuff during NaNoWriMo, but I didn’t keep the momentum. I’ll finish my HR guide this coming year, and I finally feel like I have a way forward to put it in the form I want it both for online as well as download.

The blogging itself for old series (Being Jacob’s Dad, Honeymoon posts) will all get taken care of by the photo gallery update project, so I’m not worried about those. I would like to do more with music reviews though, but that’s a one-off project here and there. There is a theme that interests me around “what I learned in (school)”, haven’t decided if/when I might get around to doing that series. Could be fun.

So where does that leave me?

I mentioned that there will be some negative stuff this coming year, and what normally pulls me out of it is excitement around some goals. A built-in momentum from a variety of tasks and activities across multiple areas. Work will be a bit of a rebuilding year and relatively static, so that leaves me my personal life to look forward to for the following “top ten” list of things on my to-do list:

  1. Help Jacob post-recovery
  2. Lose weight and get in shape
  3. The Year of the Purge
  4. PolyWogg Baking Challenge
  5. PolyWogg Reading Challenge
  6. Solo weekend away
  7. Set retirement date
  8. WordPress Photo Gallery project
  9. Astro photography
  10. Finish PolyWogg Guide to HR

Hmm…work, work, work, fun but work to organize, fun but work to organize, fun, work, mega work, fun and work, work. I think I know why I’m not feeling the pull of 2020.

I need to find some more big-ticket fun items, not just the day to day stuff.