Humour – Page 10 – The PolyBlog

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JotD: Close Shave (PWH00017)

May 7 2025

A man enters a barber shop for a shave. While the barber is foaming him up, he mentions the problems he has getting a close shave around the cheeks. “I have just the thing,” says the barber, taking a small wooden ball from a nearby drawer. “Just place this between your cheek and gum.” The client places the ball in his mouth, and the barber proceeds with the closest shave the man has ever experienced. After a few strokes, the client asks in garbled speech. “And what if I swallow it?” “No problem,” says the barber. “Just bring it back tomorrow, as everyone else does.”

JotD: The hole in the woods (PWH00013)

May 6 2025

Two guys are walking through the woods and come across a big deep hole. “Wow…that looks deep.” “Sure does… toss a few pebbles in there and see how deep it is.” They pick up a few pebbles and throw them in and wait… no noise. “Jeeez. That is REALLY deep… here…throw one of these great big rocks down there. Those should make a noise.” They pick up a couple of football-sized rocks and toss them into the hole and wait… and wait. Nothing. They look at each other in amazement. One gets a determined look on his face and says, “Hey…over here in the weeds, there’s a railroad tie. Help me carry it over here. When we toss THAT sucker in, it’s GOTTA make some noise.” The two drag the heavy tie over to the hole and heave it in. Not a sound comes from the hole. Suddenly, out of the nearby woods, a goat appears, running like the wind. It rushes toward the two men, then right past them, running as fast as its legs will carry it. Suddenly, it leaps in the air and into the hole. The two men are astonished at what they’ve just seen. Then, out of the woods comes a farmer who spots the men and ambles over. “Hey… have you two guys seen my goat out here?” “You bet we did! Craziest thing I’ve ever seen! It came running like crazy and just jumped into this hole!” “Nah”, says the farmer, “That couldn’t have been MY goat. My goat was chained to a railroad tie.”

JotD: Rotation (PWH00033)

May 5 2025

The rotation of the Earth really makes my day.

JotD: Oy vey (PWH00008)

May 2 2025

Henry Cohen’s parents were not happy that he was not married by the age of 30 and they kept telling him so. He wanted to please his parents but couldn’t meet a nice girl. In desperation, he married a goyish prostitute. His new wife’s friends were worried because she had stopped showing up at her regular street corner, but one evening she appeared, in new clothing and fancy jewelry. Naturally, the friends were curious, and she told them how she had married a nice Jewish boy. “What about his parents?” they asked. She answered, “They love me. After Henry told them about us, they had a party every evening for a week. They called it shiva.”

JotD: Ballerina (PWH00004)

May 1 2025

This large, sweaty woman, wearing a sleeveless, stained sundress, walks into a bar. She raises her right arm, revealing a quite unshaven armpit as she points to all the people sitting at the bar. “What damn gentleman around here will buy this young lady a drink?”, she demands in a deep, gravelly voice. The whole bar goes dead silent, as the patrons try to ignore her. The men next to her quickly move away, mainly because of her body odour. At the end of the bar, a skinny little drunken man slams his hand on the bar and says: “Bartender! Put it on my tab. I want to buy that ballerina a drink!”. The bartender obliges and pours the drink. After she chugalugs the drink, she turns again to the patrons and points around at all of them, again revealing her hirsute armpit. “What &%¤#@ gentleman around here will buy a #@¤%& lady a drink?”, she again asks. Once again, the little drunk slaps his hand down on the bar and says: “Bartender! I’d like to buy that ballerina another drink!” After serving the lady her second drink, the bartender approaches the little drunk. “It’s your business,” says the bartender, “if you want to buy the lady a drink, but why do you keep calling her a ballerina?”. “Sir!”, replies the drunk, “Any woman who can lift her leg up that high has got to be a ballerina!”

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