Humour – Page 11 – The PolyBlog

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JotD: Exhaustion (PWH00011)

April 30 2025

The college professor had just finished explaining an important research project to his class. He emphasized that this paper was an absolute requirement for passing his class and that there would be only two acceptable excuses for being late. Those were either a medically certifiable illness or a death in the student’s immediate family. A smart ass student in the back of the classroom waved his hand and spoke up. “But what about extreme sexual exhaustion, professor?” As you would expect, the class exploded in laughter. When the students had finally settled down, the professor froze the young man with a glaring look. “Well,” he responded, “I guess you’ll just have to learn to write with your other hand.”

JotD: Euthanasia (PWH00012)

April 29 2025

In debate class, the students had to debate euthanasia. The kid who was supposed to argue for it went first. He started talking about how necessary it was, and how terrible it was that we didn’t use it more before. He was giving all these examples of people that needed to be euthanized: people who needed amputations, people with cavities, babies. It became very clear, very quickly, that either this kid was a monster or he was talking about something else. The teacher asked him: “Charles, are you talking about euthanasia or anesthesia?” The kid replied: “I have made…a terrible mistake.”

JotD: Snails (PWH00032)

April 28 2025

How does a snail feel when it loses its shell? A little sluggish.

JotD: God’s Total Quality Management Questionnaire (PWH00006)

April 25 2025

Quality Management Questionnaire from God Quality Management Questionnaire from God 5. Are you currently using any other source of inspiration in addition to God? 1. How did you find out about God? __ Tarot __ Lottery __ Astrology __ Television __ Fortune cookies __ Advice columnist __ Psychic Network __ Dianetics __ Palmistry __ Porn __ Self-help books __ Rock and Roll __ Biorythms __ Tea Leaves __ ESP __ Mantras __ Evangelists __ Crystals __ BDSM __ Human Sacrifice __ Pyramids __ Burning bush __ Barney T.B.P.D. __ Barney Fife 2. Which model of God did you acquire? 6. Please rate on a scale of 1–5 God’s handling of the following (1=bad, 5=excellent). __ Father, Son & Holy Ghost __ Jehova(h) __ Yoweh __ Jesus __ Alah __ Satan __ God __ G_d __ False god Disasters: • Flood • Famine • Earthquake • War • Pestilence • Plague • Cable service • Cell phone • RTO • Stepping on Lego • Snow in April 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 Miracles: • Rescues • Remissions • Stars in East • Crying statues • Water into wine • Walking on water • Talking bush • Smart clocks • Sports win • Laughing babies • Robin Williams 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 1 2 3 4 5 3. What factors were relevant in your decision to acquire a god? __ Satisfy parents __ Society __ Imaginary friend __ Desperate need for certainty __ Like Organ Music __ Angry at parents __ Angry at society __ Needed focus in who to despise __ Talking shrub __ Wanted to meet girls/boys __ Need to feel Morally Superior __ Hate to think for myself __ Needed a reason to live __ Fear of murder by a missionary __ Needed a day away from work 4. Have you ever worshipped a God before? If so, which false god were you fooled by? 7. Do you have any additional comments or suggestions for improving the quality of God’s services? (Attach an additional sheet or prayers if necessary) __ Odin __ Zeus __ Cthulhu __ Apollo __ Ra __ Barney T.B.P.D. __ Almighty Dollar __ Liberalism __ Great Spirit __ The Sun __ The Moon __ Great Pumpkin

JotD: Acronyms (PWH00001)

April 24 2025

Some people are sitting in a bar when a guy says, “My name is Larry, and I am a SNAG”. Another guy says, “What’s that ?” Larry says, “I am a Single, New Age Guy.” Everyone’s quiet for a little while, thinking. Another guy says, “I’m Gary, and I’m a DINK.” A girl at the bar asks, “What’s that ?”He says, “Double Income, No Kids.” A lady says, “I’m Trixie, and I am a WIFE.” Larry says, “A WIFE? What’s a WIFE?” She says, “Oh, you know, Wash, Iron, F***, Etc.”

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