Humour – Page 9 – The PolyBlog

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JotD: You might be an astronomer if… (PWH00030)

May 14 2025

You might be an astronomer if… 1. The weather is affected by your purchases; 2. You get upset when someone confuses astronomy and astrology; 3. You spend more time choosing a telescope than a spouse; 4. You think cities should issue hunting licenses for streetlights; 5. Your observing equipment costs more than your car; 6. You rewrote “Twinkle, Twinkle Little Star” to make it factually correct; 7. When people say, “it’s all politics,” you think they’re talking about Pluto being demoted; 8. You pack more equipment than clothes for a two-week vacation; 9. You are jealous of places with regular blackouts; 10. Your daughter Pleiades can’t walk, but she’s already seen Orion’s belt; 11. You and your lover drive to a dark, secluded place to see meteors…and you do; 12. You know that the size of your equipment really does matter; 13. You wonder how the clouds know when you get your imager in focus; 14. You consider Venus to be a significant source of light pollution; 15. You go to Hawaii just for Mauna Kea; 16. There are no tools in your car, but you always have a red flashlight, binoculars, and bug spray; 17. You consider Canon vs. Nikon debates to be fighting words; 18. You bought a vehicle based on the size of your scope and number of accessories; 19. You no longer enjoy full moons; 20. You spend $20K on a scope even though you only get 40 clear nights a year; 21. Someone says “Uranus”, and rather than giggle, you correct their pronunciation; 22. When people ask you “What’s up?”, you start identifying visible constellations; 23. You know an Iridium flare isn’t a medical condition nor found at a traffic accident; 24. You see night scenes in movies and calculate the time of year and latitude; 25. You can say “So that’s an 8 inch, want to see my 12 inch?” without blushing;

JotD: Roasting a chicken (PWH00016)

May 13 2025

The street chef was roasting a chicken on a portable rotisserie and had begun to hand-crank it to ensure all areas were evenly done. It was now getting golden brown, and juices were causing some flames to lick the chicken as he turned it. Just then, a passing drunk stumbled into the guy’s cart, looked at the scene and exclaimed: “Hey buddy, not only is your music box not making any music, but your monkey’s on fire!”

JotD: Average (PWH00035)

May 12 2025

My math teacher used to call me average. How mean!

JotD: Spiritual comfort (PWH00009)

May 9 2025

There was a horrible automobile crash, and the driver of the car lay on the side of the road dying. A passerby said to him kindly, “Why don’t you say a prayer?” “I don’t know any,” said the stricken man. “Haven’t you had any contact with religion?” “As a boy, we used to live next to a Catholic Church.” “That’s it!” said the well-wisher. “Just repeat what you heard in the church!” “Okay,” said the injured man. “Under the B-15! Under the I-22!”

JotD: Value for money (PWH00005)

May 8 2025

A guy goes into a whore house and hands the madam $2500 and tells her he wants the ugliest, meanest woman available. The madam replies, “Sir, for $2500 you can have the youngest, loveliest girl in the place.” The guy looks at the madam and says, “Lady, I’m not horny, just homesick!!!”

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