So I’ve updated my overall bucket list goals, recognizing of course that I will likely not be able to accomplish all of them before I die. But it’s nice to have goals…

I’m not normally quite so anal-retentive in that I want to measure “progress” in this way, but I thought it might help me visualize it better this year…Not a lot of progress for January and February, but not surprising since I just formally established the new goals.
Progress on Mind: Didn’t accomplish much in January other than another presentation on my HR guide, this time tailored to the post-Strategic Review world, which went well. For February, I updated my planning guide, did some financial work on ETFs and RRSPs, and sorted my books in the basement in at least a rudimentary fashion.
Progress on Heart: I had a really slow start on the HEART items…For January, about the only progress I made was continued support to Andrea on her M.Ed. For February, that continued, and I did a little bit more on trying to take my lunch and/or eat a little healthier, plus registered the website for AstroPontiac.
Progress on Soul: January was pretty much a complete washout, and for February, the only thing I moved forward on was a little bit of research for a dinosaur book for Jacob.
Progress on Body: Like with SOUL, January was a washout. For February, I followed up on some health stuff (a head MRI to explain some headache and odd symptoms going on) and adjusted my sleep times a bit better. Not great progress overall though.
Onward!

As I gear up for this year, one of the things I wanted to think about differently than last year was the way in which the colours interact with my overall goals. I thought last year about “blue” vs. “red” vs. “yellow” vs. “green”, but all I really did was use those colours to group a lot of sub-categories. Ultimately, although I was telling myself I had “four” categories, in truth, my list wasn’t a lot different from four years ago when I had 12 categories, three years ago when I still had 10, or two years ago when I got it down to 8. All I was really doing was grouping them. And a lot of the time, the sub-categories were a bit of a force fit because the overall categories weren’t really “speaking” to me.
About six weeks ago, I was reading some articles about personal branding that were dealing with the “storylines, themes” you share about yourself with others, such as how you present yourself in interviews or business or online to ensure a consistent, coherent message. And about the second or third article in, a light bulb came on — because what I really needed to be thinking about were the storylines and themes that I was using to market me to myself. What an interesting concept — if you were presenting yourself to yourself, what would you say? If you were recruiting someone to live your life for you, would you hire you?
It particularly resonated with me, building on an article I had read last year that talked about transformation through goal-setting, mind-mapping, etc. The article was rather ho-hum, except for a small concept buried deep within it. It asked you to think about goal-setting from a different perspective than the one most people use. Usually, when people are thinking about goals and improvements, they take this radical perspective that suggests if they just do X or Y, their life will suddenly get “back on track”. It’s a popular concept, the basis in fact for most diet programs where it tends to work to motivate people if their problem is willpower. But in other areas of their life, what if your life isn’t actually off-track? What if you are already the you that you should be? Maybe not necessarily the you that you want to be, but the you that you should be, the you that you were somehow destined to become? Taken from that perspective, goal-setting starts to be less about radical transformation and more about self-acceptance, less about jettisoning everything and more about polishing some of the edges. Taking into account of course that sometimes polishing only on one side will eventually wear that side down quite a bit…self-acceptance doesn’t mean you’re not aggressive in some areas, but it does help to stop you from feeling like you’re not making progress, losing motivation, or throwing the proverbial baby out with the bathwater.
In my case, I have been aggressively setting goals and making progress towards them for the last 12 years. Not always huge progress, not always linear progression, not always even in the directions I thought I would go. To become the me that I am now…and, when push comes to shove, I have to admit that my life is pretty dang good. My mind still functions, I’m gainfully employed, I have family and friends that I care about, I am generally connected to my inner spirit, and even if my body isn’t running marathons, it isn’t racked with debilitating illness either. My past efforts and progress, not to mention a dose of pretty good luck, have all combined to make me the me that I am. Sure, I’m going to try and polish some stuff. But I’m not going for radical change or even innovation necessarily.
However, I do need to tell my story to myself differently. And this year, I’m going to try and really use the four colours along with internal proxies.
I’ve managed to limit the number of priorities for my MIND category (blue) to just ten items for this coming year:
The “storyline” here is about being organized (planning guide, website, books, some finances) and getting our house set up. In addition, I’ll finalize my reading list (bucket list #67) and continue towards my career goal of presenting on HR to more than a 1000 people (bucket list #77). And, just by way of validation, these are elements that maintain momentum on my successes of last year (a new house, financial planning, finished my website, started reading on my Kindle, and updated this planning guide for the colour wheel).
For the HEART category (green), I can hold myself to just six priorities:
The storyline here is about a better connection to Jacob and Andrea, increasing my involvement with friends (emerging from hermit stage), and answering a long-standing question of mine about what’s the best form for charitable giving within a community. While I probably won’t make any more progress on bucket list items for this category, I am building on regular success in the last year as I learned to be a better father, supported Andrea on her educational efforts, and began early involvement in Stephan’s astro-park idea.
For the SOUL category (yellow), I have ten priorities:
The storyline here is about expressing myself through writing and cooking, reading the creative endeavours of others, and figuring out the true nature of the universe (or at least what I believe in). I am building on some success from the last year, namely some of my work on the HR guide, researching the self-publishing industry, blogging, uploading my past book reviews, and answering the first two questions of my “12 big questions guide to the universe”.
For the BODY category (red), I have six priorities:
If there’s time, I’d also like to explore meditation (from my bucket list), but probably not a huge priority. The storyline here is about overall health and getting more fit. Not a lot of success from the past year, although I did get set up with a new doctor, grabbed new glasses, and got my blood pressure under control.
Onward to 2012!

Just over a year ago, I did my annual personal “goal-setting”. Many of the comments I received on my goals basically suggested I was either (a) trying to do too much or (b) not prioritizing family high enough. I do appreciate the comments, but neither are really applicable to me or my personal situation.
First, the whole point of doing this is to be really ambitious, to use a combination of some of the techniques in the “goal guru / time management” industry. And so I am not trying to do all of them. Maybe not even most of them. Really what I am doing is listing goals and creating the list so that I can use it to remind myself of my goals, to take a greater step than most in actually writing them down as well as to get them out of my head and on paper so I don’t have to try and just remember them. Anytime I want them, they’re there for easy review.
Second, suggesting someone prioritize family “higher” is an easy comment, but is actually quite simplistic in concept. No matter what anyone does for family, someone will always say “make them a priority”. Of course, they’re a priority. But I also don’t want to be the equivalent of the stereotype of a stressed out parent (usually portrayed as a mom) who only lives vicariously through their family, who loses their own identity or subsumes their own life under that that of their children. That might make a “green” personality happy in the short-term, but I’m a primary blue — I’m always going to want some of own analytical time, for instance. Just how I’m wired…and if others want to follow an unconscious script that tells them family is always the “right answer”, that’s their choice. But I know better. I love my family. But I’m useless to them if that’s all I bring to the table or expect them to be my whole life. So I need to make sure some of those other areas are going too. But family is also not a “to do” item, nor will I treat them as such.
How did I do in 2011? Well, let’s see. First and foremost, I am happy with the fact that my approach included a new colour wheel that resonates with me in terms of psychology, personality, etc. However, it wasn’t entirely successful and I have a slightly tweaked approach for 2012 that I’m going to try that thinks in terms of just the four colours (no sub categories), and “themes” + a storyline. Almost like “branding my year” in a way so I can tell myself the story better. More info on that in future posts.
Second, something that wasn’t really on the list is something that sucked time like nobody’s business. My family and I moved homes — not a great distance from where we were, but huge upgrades on quality of life in a bunch of areas. But it pretty much killed three to five months of the year, maybe a bit more.
So let’s see how I did on the various items I had in my posts from last February / March.
| Getting organized | |
| Being organized | Maintaining to do lists, etc. — worked well at start of year but by end of year, I was drifting a bit…have now converted over to using Evernote and it seems promising so far. |
| House | I was expecting to do a lot of work on the old house and we did — but different work, work designed to help it SELL! And we bought a new house requiring a lot less work. Lots of new stuff to be done, but starting to sort itself out. |
| Finances | Wanted to do better planning and we did, both with strategic financial planner, wills, etc. But still work to be done that should have already been done on moving investments around, better insurance coverage, etc. |
| Computers | Finished and started using website, reorganized some of the computer backups etc. |
| Garden | Wasn’t a priority, nothing happened |
| Cottage | Wasn’t a priority, nothing happened |
| Design a house | Wasn’t a priority, but buying the new place helped us articulate what we were really looking for in terms of rooms, layout, location, etc. |
| Relationships | |
| Fatherhood | Mostly about father vs. husband vs. individual, I didn’t do as well as I would have liked on the “father/husband” front in terms of carrying my share of the load — Andrea still does most of the pre-bedtime prep stuff. |
| Husband | Plus we haven’t made the time for “spousal” time, and most of our conversations are still about Jacob…need more date nights. Still supporting Andrea’s educational efforts, which is good. |
| Individual | Not doing as much after Jacob goes to bed either, a little too much TV watching of late. |
| Family | Hardly saw my family last year, which is not what I hoped for. |
| Body and Soul | |
| Physical | Massage time down, Prevacid steady, eyeglasses replaced, got new doctor, but need to find new dentist, I became a greater couch potato, developed blood pressure problems, didn’t get new orthotics, no golfing, didn’t compensate on charitable giving. Plus other new stuff showing up on the health risk front. |
| Astro Pontiac | Need to get more organized for supporting Stephan on this astronomy proposal. |
| Figure out spiritual beliefs | I don’t really know what I believe anymore, and should really figure this out a bit more. |
| Ethics | Created personal rules / principles but not really sure I’m living them. |
| Weight | No real change |
| Meditation | Did nothing |
| Martial Arts | Did nothing |
| Giving blood | Tried to get this organized in late December but coordinator screwed up donation date, need to rebook |
| Learning | |
| Online courses | Did nothing |
| Personal interest courses | Did nothing |
| Further studies | Did nothing |
| Learning sign language | Did nothing |
| Use own telescope | Did nothing |
| Learn photography | Did nothing |
| Learn to drive a standard transmission | Did nothing |
| Social | |
| MMMMM outings | Did nothing |
| Remembrance Day / Corn roast | Wiped out by moving |
| Coffee with Amanda / Hockey with Seb / Brunches | Pretty much a wash out. |
| Book reviews | 28 all up and converted |
| Movie reviews | Did nothing |
| Ebook collection, pruning paper | Nothing |
| Billboard music | Nothing |
| Learn to knit | Nothing |
| Play Pai Gow | Nothing |
| Movie weekend | Nothing |
| List of top books | List compiled |
| Creativity | |
| Business model for publishing | Lots of research, looking good |
| Writing | Blog only |
| Capital Crime | Nothing for new year |
| HR guide (employees) | Started posting |
| HR guide (employers) | Preliminary |
| Gods novel outline | Nothing |
| Cookbook | Nothing |
| Recipe nights | Nothing |
| Career | |
| Mentoring, coaching | Some 1:1, some group |
| Focused content | Not really, still main stuff |
| Day job vs. SR / SORO | Caught up in SORO, not able to extricate myself |
| French | Nothing |
| Presentation | Continued learning series |
| Leadership | |
| Teaching role | Continued learning series, some blogging on tech issues (SEO) |
| Municipal issues | Nothing |
| Local theatre | Nothing |
| Windmill to tilt at | Nothing really, some blogging |
| Travel – England | Nothing |
| Travel – Territories | Nothing |
| Travel – Grand Canyon | Nothing |
| Travel – Galapagos | Nothing |
| Travel – Ortona | Nothing |
| Travel – Iceland | Nothing |
| Travel – Scotland, Ireland | Nothing |
| Travel – Aust/NZ | Nothing |
| Travel – Fiji | Nothing |
| Travel – Egypt | Nothing |
| Travel – Antarctica | Nothing |
| Other (Miscellaneous) | |
| Red Tie to web | Nothing |
| Garage sale | Nothing |
| Porch swing | Nothing, but moving reprioritized |
| Basketball hoop | Nothing, but moving reprioritized |
| Bicycle setup | Nothing, but moving reprioritized |
| Car insurance claim | Nothing |
| ETFs | Nothing, but moving pre-empted it |
In the end, some progress, some slippage. My only real concern for the future is where there are whole categories essentially that I did nothing on, indicating that there is a sub-area that I am relatively ignoring. Part of that is the way I set my priorities, and some of it is the way I remind myself what to focus on. I think the new approach for 2012 (themes, storyline) will help counteract that…at least, I hope it will! Stay tuned!

So, a couple of days ago I did a review of an ebook that looked at how to break “writer’s block”. Most of it was really good, and my only major quibble was a risk that some people would find reinforcement for the idea that “getting up early” to write was a good way to find time. My take, and not so much in opposition to the ebook’s premise so much as an added thought, was that too many people misunderstand that to be an example of “time management” when it really isn’t. At least, not unless people are also going to bed early to compensate.
There was, however, an element in the ebook that I didn’t discuss because of a sub-bullet that I’m not sure about. Here’s the premise — as with finance, or priority-setting for writing, you should “pay yourself first”. In the priority world, this means making your writing time a “rock” and putting it in your schedule first, or as the ebook and others describe it, “ring-fencing time for writing”. In other words, block out time that is sacrosanct — time that you will not “cut” or “move” or “reschedule” or “reduce” to make room for other things in your life. For some people, this is first thing in the morning when no one else is awake; or afternoons while their child is napping; or evenings after people have gone to bed. Seemingly a guaranteed way to allow you time to write.
Yet here’s where the problem comes in…what do you do when life intervenes and you HAVE to adjust that time? Well, the simple answer is you treat it like a block, and move it but never never never delete it. It is YOUR time. One of your ROCKS. So you have to do it. And the ebook reinforces this — it suggests that if you miss a day, you give it back to yourself. You pay yourself first, with your time in this case.
I love the premise, I really do. But then I have niggly doubts, because I’ve been in this situation before. I know what happens. I tell myself, “Okay, I wanted an hour a day, but I missed yesterday, so I have to do two hours today.” Yet if I had trouble scheduling an hour, and had to miss it one day, what chance do I have to slip another hour in the next day? Or if I miss two days, three hours on the third day?
For writing, this time shift is possible. For other goals, say working out, it’s not feasible — working out for 3 hours on the third day means more likely that you’ll not only hurt yourself but also you’re not even getting the same benefit. Or if it is $, hurting yourself on day 2’s budgeting or day 3’s budgeting just makes you resent it all the more.
In books on stress, they’ll tell you the complete opposite — if you miss a day, let it go. It is all about DAILY routines, progress over time, incremental success, not rigidly sticking to a schedule. And the more you do something, starting with a clean slate each day, the less likely you are to start getting stressed that you missed a day, and the more likely you are to start making it a habit. Because you reward yourself when you do it but don’t punish yourself if you’re not perfect right out of the gate. For some people though, this will just be an excuse to stop doing it at all — after all, there’s no penalty.
The solution, in my view, is a bit of a hybrid of the two approaches. First, accept that you don’t have only one rock…after all, there’s a reason you bumped your writing time, and it is probably because the short-term urgent need (a kid’s appointment, suddenly realizing you’re out of some ingredient for a dinner you’re having that night with guests and you need some groceries, the pipe in your basement burst and you had to find a plumber) over-rode your long-term important goals. And it is about balance, not about rigidly sticking to a script.
Second, you also can’t just let yourself off the hook — you should be tracking your goals and seeing how your performance is doing. Maybe that’s daily, maybe it’s weekly. But tracking your progress to alert yourself that if your goal was to write for three hours every day and you only managed to accomplish that twice in a month, something’s not working. Either you need to be more realistic in your goal-setting or focus more energy on priority-setting and actually eliminating the other parts that intruded.
After all, if you missed your writing time because you were rushing a friend to the hospital, you don’t “owe” yourself that writing time elsewhere. The goal is for you to manage your priorities so you can set a realistic schedule, not for you to stick rigidly to a schedule so that it manages you.
So I’m comfortable with that “hybrid”. Sounds good to me. It seems far less “formalistic” or “stressful” than paying yourself first and owing yourself if you don’t. But what happens when your tracking doesn’t produce a change? What happens if you’ve set your goal, missed some days, adjusted, tracked some more, and are still missing days? What’s your third “mitigation” strategy?
Is paying yourself first, and owing yourself second, the best solution as it avoids the psycho-babble that follows? I just don’t know. And that’s why I didn’t comment in the previous post. Happy to have views. 🙂
