Humour – Page 8 – The PolyBlog

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JotD: Lawyers vs. vampires (PWH00060)

May 28 2025

What’s the difference between a lawyer and a vampire? Once you die, the vampire stops sucking your blood.

JotD: Maintaining standards (PWH00018)

May 28 2025

A man’s off-road vehicle breaks down in the middle of the Mojave Desert. It’s the middle of summer, and the area is not named “Death Valley” for nothing, so he decides to hike out. By the time he finally reaches even a dirt road, he is on his last legs and dying of thirst. Up ahead, he spots a roadside stand and a shack. He gets to his feet and stumbles up to the stand. “Water!” he croaks. Morris, the owner of the stand, smiles. “Hey, I don’t sell water. My brother Sam sells bottled water in the shack next door. I sell ties…Wanna buy a tie?” “No, I need water,” the dying man says. So, he drags himself over to the door of Sam’s shack, hauls himself up on his feet, and starts to walk in, when Sam, the shack owner, stops him. “Sorry, can’t get in without a tie!”

JotD: Cold text (PWH00039)

May 27 2025

What do you call it when it’s so cold that you can’t text properly? Typothermia

JotD: Getting older (PWH00015)

May 16 2025

Three old ladies were sitting around talking. One said, “Sometimes I catch myself with a jar of mayonnaise in my hand in front of the refrigerator and can’t remember whether I need to put it away or start making a sandwich.” The second lady chimed in, “Yes, sometimes I find myself on the landing of the stairs and can’t remember whether I was on my way up or on my way down.” The third one responded, “Well, I’m glad I don’t have that problem, knock on wood,” as she rapped her knuckles on the table. Then she told them, “That must be the door, I’ll get it!”

JotD: Surprises (PWH00010)

May 15 2025

One evening, as Uncle John and his wife are entertaining guests with cocktails, they are interrupted by an out-of-breath Freddie who shouts out, “Uncle John! Come quick! The bull is screwing the cow!” Uncle John, highly embarrassed, takes young Freddie aside and explains that a certain decorum is required. “You should have said, ‘The bull is surprising the cow’ — not some filth you picked up in the City.” A few days later, Freddie comes in again as his uncle and aunt are entertaining. “Uncle John! The bull is surprising the cows!” The adults share a knowing grin. Uncle John says, “Thank you, Freddie, but surely you meant to say the cow, not cows. A bull cannot ‘surprise’ more than one cow at a time, you know…” “Yes, he can!” replies his obstinate nephew, “He’s screwing the horse!”

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